Coping with entering your twenties.
I just turned twenty, so here are a few ways I’m coping with feeling “old.”
Happy belated birthday to me. I just turned twenty, and yes I am a proud Libra. I quite frankly never shut up about it. Turning twenty has forced me to look in the mirror and exclaim, “Wow. I am officially old.” My biggest fear happens to be growing old, so this milestone of a moment in my life was making my head spin. Am I officially old? Am I now so profoundly different from my nineteen-year-old peers? Should I stop dressing like a freshman and throw on a blazer???
The answers to all of these questions are up for debate but turning twenty means entering a whole new world for me. A world of defining moments. A whole decade of creation to look forward to! They say your twenties are supposed to be the best years of your life, but recently I have struggled to come to terms with my age and being forced to grow up. If I could hide away at the age of nineteen and spend the rest of my days doing nothing too serious, then I would. But maybe that’s the problem.
Growing up means getting serious. Instead of Be Reals of my homework, I’ll start to Be Real at my corporate job where I do in fact have to wear a blazer. While all of this is terrifying, being in your twenties is when you experience some of the most defining moments of your life, and that’s what I’m going to focus on to get through this “midlife crisis” I am currently in. I went through various stages of my life to get to where I am now. Here they are:
Stage 1: Distraction
My midlife crisis consists of me distracting myself 24/7. This is the first time I’ve genuinely sat down and thought about myself as a twenty-year-old woman since my birthday. I typically distract myself with friends, homework, cooking, and anything you can think of. Choosing not to face the reality of adulthood was only holding me back in life.
Distractions are great, but so is realizing how far I’ve come. Distractions hold you back from moving on. I now think about how facing your twenties is like moving on from a bad breakup. It might suck, but in the end, it’s totally worth it. Leaving stage one of my midlife crisis and entering stage two left me with one lingering thought in my head. That thought was: I believe that you are only as mentally young as you want to be. You could be eighty and still feel twenty. It’s all about your mindset. So, if you start to see gray hair, don’t freak out. Everything will be okay. Your local CVS will always be stocked up on box hair dye.
Stage 2: Realization
Time appears non-existent as it quite literally flashes before my eyes. One minute I’m eighteen crying in my mom’s car feeling beyond scared that I am not good enough for college, and then the next minute I’m turning twenty with two jobs that look AMAZING on my resume and writing stellar articles like this one. Apologies for gloating, but as my age rises so does my ego. Call it self-worth. Turning twenty also equals endless opportunities.
Once I stepped outside of my cluttered mind, I realized that along with my age and ego on the rise, so is my maturity. I look in the mirror and see a stronger woman every day. If I saw that reflection two years ago today, I would think that’s my evil twin. That’s the powerful thing about turning twenty. Growth doesn’t have to be such a scary thing. You are one year closer to complete freedom, and soon you’ll be entering your thirties, but let’s not think about that last point because then I will actually enter into a second midlife crisis.
Stage 3: Acceptance
Dealing with a midlife crisis at twenty is not what I had planned for myself. The best thing I have done to come to terms with my age is to accept where I am now. Accepting where I am now has brought me nothing but peace. I spend less time worrying about past nostalgia and future worries and instead focus on the here and now. If time is so fleeting, then why would I spend it worrying about things I’ve already experienced or things that may never happen? This is now my official acceptance into adulthood on behalf of myself. And, to answer my questions from before: yes, I will be purchasing my first blazer soon, and no, I’m not that old, but even if I was, that would be okay.
I try not to think about how one day my twenties will just be a thing of the past. The most important thing you can do to avoid a midlife crisis in your twenties is to just live in the moment. Don’t think about what will be, but what is happening now. You have endless opportunities at your fingertips. Being twenty is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you’ll never forget. So, on that note, I would like to say rest in peace to Libra season. You will be greatly missed along with my teenage years, but here is to the absolute best years of my life. Twenty years old has never looked so good.