We were all shocked when last season ended with our favorite redhead, Archie Andrews, getting arrested for the murder of Cassidy Bullock (a crime we are all aware he did not commit).
This left us all with so many questions, and the first episode of season three somehow left us even more confused.
The episode opens in a hot courtroom, everyone awaiting the jury’s decision. The jury requests some extra time and Archie is, fortunately, granted the weekend to spend with his family and friends before finding out his fate in the following week.
Meanwhile, Betty is still trying to cope with the fact that her father was the Black Hood, while her mother and sister obsess over their strange farm guru, Edgar Evernever.
As if his name isn’t weird enough, he seems to be quite the influence on Alice and Polly, as we can clearly see them dressing like hippies and drinking oolong milk.
We also cannot ignore the new relationships—Sweat Pea and Josie? Kevin and Moose? And even Cheryl and Toni are confirmed? I’m here for it.
And of course, it wouldn’t be Riverdale without even just the slightest mention of the Ghoulies/Serpents war.
Penny Peabody has struck again and apparently, she really knew how to lure the Serpents in—by dognapping (?) their beloved mascot, Hot Dog.
Nothing life threatening happens amongst the angsty teens, but Penny makes it clear that she wants to take over the North Side, and Cheryl also shoots some guy with an arrow but, I mean, that seems about right.
With Labor Day weekend coming to an end, Archie is back in court, ready to face whatever decision the jury has planned for him, only to hear that they still have not reached a consensus.
Archie takes it upon himself to accept an offer to attend juvie for two years as opposed to going through the entire trial again, without consulting his lawyer (aka his mother, which seems a little strange, but we’ll go with it).
The last five minutes were, in my opinion, the most eventful five minutes in the entire episode. Jughead goes to this forest and finds two of his peers bent over with blood in some weird shapes on their back and blue foam coming out of their mouths.
Finally, we see Alice and Polly Cooper along with a few other people in the backyard, surrounding a fire, while Betty watches them from afar.
The women hold the twin babies over the fire and drop them, only for them to… levitate? Betty passes out on the deck, just like anyone else would and the episode comes to a close.
Definitely not the turn I expected Riverdale to take, but I think we need to see a little bit more of the season before judging too hard.
Hopefully, the next episode and the rest of the season can help answer our questions and provide some sort of explanation for these supernatural phenomena.