I Asked Five Guys to Venmo me $10 on Tinder & Here’s What They Said

Ah, Tinder, the place where attractive 20’s-something students go to find true ~love~. Or, uh, something like that.

Let’s face it, we all had high hopes when we downloaded Tinder for the very first time.

Well, maybe not high hopes, but at least hope for a moderately decent human interaction with someone in a two-mile radius. Is that so much to ask for?

Apparently it is too much to ask for. Well, for me at least. Coming up on my *one year Tinder anniversary,* I decided to make my love life even more of a joke than it already is, while also ruining any chance I might have at carrying out a mediocre conversation with a disturbingly average frat boy who religiously uses pictures of his dog to allure Tinder girls.

As I matched with a sea of boys wearing Sperry’s and saying they’re “6’4”, if that matters” in their bios, I decided to ask them each for a small fee in speaking to me: $10, through Venmo, preferably. Here’s what these heartthrobs had to say:

Sorry, buddy, but that’s price you have to pay for the ~~~prettiest girl in the Philly area~~~ 

Damn straight.

Hmm, maybe because I’m a great conversationalist, borderline perfect human being -- ah, the list goes on.

Well, ladies, in case we forgot, this Tinder mans is here to remind us that boys are still disgusting.

I’d say to guess what is scribbled out in this message, but, TBH, you probably already have an idea. Let’s get creative, boys -- I’m bored.

As you can see, I’m now out of potential boyfriend prospects and my Venmo balance has remained stagnant -- so, basically, nothing has changed.

Although this method proved to be ineffective, at least I got a few “Saturdays are for the Boys”-type frat guys outta my DMs for good.

As I probably once dramatically tweeted in middle school, “not everything you lose is a loss.”