If you’re single, have no fear! I’m here to give you some tips and tricks on how to live your best life using the five love languages.
There is no rule, age, or time when you should and shouldn’t be single. You can meet your soulmate at 26 or you could meet them at 66. There is this certain lifestyle in today’s society where you should settle down at a certain time and age; if you do it “too young” you miss out on certain chances such as traveling or the ability to focus on your career. But if you do it “too old” you might have missed potential love opportunities. There isn’t a right or wrong way to go about this. Some people find the idea of being alone frightening. They are hooked on this stigma that they need someone in order to feel pleasure and live a sustainable life. They think being with someone wrong for them is better than being alone. I always found that fear a bit odd, because if you are single, you get to know and understand your values, and fall in love with yourself more.
There are times when you might feel lonely, but that’s just a natural instinct when we don’t have someone. Humans need other humans. Around certain holidays you see flowers, gift-giving, and acts of gratitude. For those who have a significant other, this can be heartwarming, but to singles, it can create feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Something people don’t realize is that there is nothing wrong with being alone. You don’t have to worry about what someone is doing, or why they aren’t texting or calling you back. You get to spend your money on yourself, and really get to know yourself emotionally and what you expect out of a potential partner. This can be so helpful in many ways. Relying on validation from someone else can be a bit dangerous. If you’re not telling yourself the amazing qualities you have and expect it from an outside source 24/7, and that relationship comes to an end, then that validation all of a sudden disappears. Having emotional dependence on yourself will allow you to become more emotionally mature, stable, and you won’t have to keep going through the same toxic cycle.
One thing that I recommend doing is taking the love language quiz. Try to apply it to yourself rather than a partner. For example, if your love language is words of affirmation, tell yourself the amazing traits you have. Applying your love language to yourself is a great way to practice self-love. Learning more about yourself is really important because it can help you in the future when it comes down to finding the right partner, and not settling for one. Coming from someone who is currently single, I have a few tips and tricks on how to feel that self-love if you’ve been feeling a little lonely.
Take yourself out on a date:
Going out without a friend might be a little nerve-racking, so go enjoy being your own company! If your love language is quality time, you could take yourself out to your favorite restaurant for a drink and a meal. You could also do your favorite hobby alone, or try out something completely new that you always wanted to try out with a significant other. Doing these things is a great way to practice independence without the expectations of meeting anyone.
Pamper yourself:
If your love language is physical touch, plan a day full of self-care activities. If you enjoy working out, go to the gym. Get a facial or a full body massage. Take a bath or a long shower. One of my personal favorite self-care activities is meditating. Doing this technique allows you to focus on the present moment, and eases tension from your body. It’s a bit challenging and might feel weird at first, but once you get the hang of it you will find yourself wanting to meditate occasionally to help release any stress and anxiety you might have. Doing these things will help you feel refreshed and rejuvenated.
Stay busy:
Running errands throughout the day can help keep your mind off of certain things. If your love language is acts of service, this is a great way to spend your day. Write down some things that you need to get done. Wake up and make a nice breakfast for yourself, catch up on some school work, and take some time to clean your room. Staying busy and keeping yourself organized is a great act of service for yourself.
Treat Yourself:
If your love language is gift receiving, then treating yourself might be the way to go for you!. It could be something as small as a new candle, a cup of coffee, or even a bouquet of flowers to set up in your room. This is a great act of self-love because you are providing for yourself rather than depending on someone else to provide for you.
Journal:
If you are someone who is not good at expressing feelings and words verbally, then start journaling them instead. Writing, manifesting, and creating affirmations for yourself are great ways to release stress, and combat feelings of anxiety and loneliness. If your love language is words of affirmation, this is a great way to remind yourself of just how amazing you are. Think about how you would talk to a loved one, and use that same language with yourself. Write yourself a letter, whether it is to past, present or future you. This allows you to see all of the traits about yourself that you love, or you might want to change and work on for the better.
Being single is heavily stigmatized in our society. It is normal to want to be with someone because we are meant to be social and need that connection with other people. But, being single vs being in a relationship shouldn’t be looked down upon or in competition with one another. They both come with valuable lessons and benefits. It’s 2022, and we should start normalizing being alone, especially when we’re out here trying to live our best lives!