For many of us, there’s been some awkward point where you have a sudden desire to hook up with your friend. You ask yourself if you should go for it and if it’ll get in the way of your friendship.
The thought of hooking up with a friend can seem like a great idea because you’ve known each other forever, you care about each other, you’re comfortable in your own skin whenever you’re together, and maybe you’ve even been tossing the idea around in your head for awhile.
It’s easy to assume that if your friendship is really that strong, then it can handle throwing some sex or kissing into the mix without feeling anything.
In my opinion, there’s sometimes that one friend that you have great chemistry with and you can’t help but think that there could be something more for you two. Or sometimes, you’re just too attracted to them that you want to sleep with them to get rid of the curiosity of what it’s like.
I know from my experience and who I am as a person, I got attached to the guy I hooked up with––who was actually my friend. But I totally denied it, thinking I can casually hook up with him and not get attached at all.
I was toooootally wrong.
I knew when he started seeing another girl. I thought I was simply just attracted to him and didn’t want more, but clearly that wasn’t the case.
I think one of the reasons I hooked up with him because of the years of sexual tension building between us, and I was comfortable with him because I knew him personally.
People tend to think it’s easier to hook up with someone they’re comfortable with, because it’ll cause less complications. But, this isn’t always true. Some girls don’t realize the consequences, drama, or the awkwardness that can come with it.
For me now, it’s awkward seeing him because of what we did (and I see him all the time), so it hasn’t gotten any easier. I mean, we’re still friends, but it’s hard to get rid of my feelings for him sometimes and it hurts especially, knowing he doesn’t feel the same way.
However, just because it didn’t work out for me doesn’t mean this will be the result for everyone who takes that risk.
My friend, who’s been dating her boyfriend for almost a year, started off as friends and hooked up. It just worked out for them.
If you’re considering this, there are a few things to keep in mind:
You should know who you are as a person. Do you get attached easily? Do you secretly want something more? You really need to take a moment and ask yourself these questions instead of just letting your horniness take control.
I know I can’t do it because my heart lives in my vagina (if you watch Grey’s Anatomy you know what I mean by that). If you don’t, it simply means attachment comes with hookups for me.
Since I figured this out about myself, I don’t want to try and hookup with other guy friends. I won’t be able to handle it mentally and it will result in some type of drama.
It’s important to know if you can’t or can hook up with someone without getting too attached and you guys can still remain friends.
If you’re trying to not hook up but struggle to get rid of your horniness, try to focus your energy on other things. Talk to your friends about it and see what they suggest. You can write, shop, create things, or do anything you are passionate about that will keep your mind occupied or understand your feelings better.
Another thing I learned is it’s important to communicate with your friend that you actually hooked up with because it will lessen the confusion about the feelings that we have for one another.
Talking about it can better your friendship and hopefully you two will be on the same page with your emotions and friendship. It’s scary and tough to bring up but communication is key.
At the end day, it’s up to you to decide why or why not to avoid hooking up with your friend. No one can influence your decision and neither can I, but you can always talk things out with someone or listen to someone’s story, like mine; if you’re not sure what to do. Just remember to be honest with yourself, understand the situation, and do what’s best for you.