College is often described as a time of self-discovery, independence, and new connections. But what happens when those connections blur the lines between romance, convenience, and companionship? As I’ve started navigating my own experiences on campus, I’ve realized that many students are caught in the middle ground; wondering if these so-called relationships are love stories to be, messy situationships, or simply academic friendships with a side of late-night study sessions.
Is it Real or Just Convenient?
We’ve all had that moment—sitting in the library or study lounge with someone who makes homework way more fun, but in the back of your mind you can’t help but think, Wait, is this something real, or just convenient? I’ve been there, too, and I’ve quickly realized that not every connection on campus is a love story. Sometimes a connection is just a flirty, fun friendship or a helpful study partner who makes cram sessions less stressful. That’s why in these situations it’s important to pause and ask yourself what kind of energy the other person is really bringing into your life.
Is it More than a Situationship?
One of the biggest signs that I’ve noticed indicates that a connection is something more than a situationship is consistency. If a person makes an effort to see you outside of class, introduce you to their friends, or check in on how you’re doing, that’s a relationship that might be worth exploring further. A healthy connection should make you feel calm and secure without you having to constantly decode mixed signals. From my own experience, whenever I found myself always planning hangouts, texting first, or wondering if they cared, I would later realize that those relationships weren’t built from commitment, they were built from convenience.
Red Flags to Watch Out For
College experiences can help reveal early red flags. If someone only texts when its late, avoids putting any kind of label on the relationship, or makes everything about their schedule and terms, it’s worth asking yourself if they value you.
Green Flags = Healthy Love
When it comes to relationships in college, healthy love doesn’t have to mean constant attention or spending every free moment together; it means balance. A partner who genuinely cares will celebrate your wins—whether that means acing an exam or landing an internship—and respect your space when you need to focus on yourself. They’ll support your independence instead of making you feel guilty for having other priorities. As young women, it’s so important to recognize that a healthy relationship should feel like a partnership and not a distraction. In my eyes, effort is one of the clearest green flags: if it feels consistent on both sides, that’s a sign that you might have something worth keeping.
Dating in college doesn’t have to be about finding your life partner tomorrow, and it shouldn’t have you feeling drained or doubting your worth. The right connection will add space into your life, not pressure. So, the next time you’re asking yourself, “Is it love, a situationship, or just a study buddy?” Pause and reflect: Do I feel valued? Do I feel seen? Do I feel respected? If the answer is yes, you might just have something real. If it’s no, don’t be afraid to let go. The love you deserve won’t make you question if it’s love at all.