Tips and tricks to get over your ex.
During freshman year of college my ex and I broke up three times… my ex sucked… like REALLY sucked! Once we ended it once and for all, I finally met the love of my life – myself of course!
Once the reins of the single life took a hold of me, I was off. The monumental feeling of endless freedom was something I had not tasted in close to a year. It had felt like an untouched part of myself that had been gone for so long. Of course, you can have your independence in a healthy good relationship, but that was something my relationship definitely lacked. The walls of my relationship were built so high that it seemed like there was no way to get out. But one day, I built myself a ladder out of every lie, every tear, and every moment I had begged to be treated right, and I climbed so high that every part of my ex had just disappeared. I started doing things for myself that changed my life. Here are some of the things I did to date myself :)
No Contact!
I cannot stress enough how important it is to cut off any and all contact from your ex. The block button will become your best friend during these times. Exes are like leeches, and if they sucked the life out of you while you were together, they most definitely will try to do it after you dump them. For example, they may or may not try to FaceTime you and introduce you to their whole family post-breakup… but that’s just an example, not like that happened to me or anything. A huge part of dating yourself is sticking to yourself. Staying loyal to myself was the best thing I ever did. There was no bad energy to ruin my day, and I felt myself becoming happier and happier every single day.
Go on a Solo Trip
Is there a place you have been dying to go, but never got the opportunity to? Now is as good a time as any. Living in Philadelphia makes this a super easy thing to accomplish. Solo subway rides, long walks home from the gym blasting Childish Gambino (because I’ve had Camp on repeat for weeks now), eating outside of your favorite place to get food on Temple’s campus, going window shopping in Center City; the list is never-ending. Taking yourself out on a date allows you to sit with your thoughts and reflect on a whole new level. All the lost confidence on behalf of my relationship was suddenly regained in a whole new light. I finally started to recognize the girl I saw in the mirror.
Go on a Date with Someone Else
Yes, I know this is wildly hypocritical for me to say when I am telling you to date yourself. However, staying loyal to yourself doesn’t mean you can’t go out with a “friend” and have him buy you drinks and food. Why not take advantage of such a wonderful opportunity?! Never did I think I would be going on a first date anytime soon, but the first date after a breakup can be so much fun if you let it be. I tried to tell myself that I wasn’t nervous, but as soon as I walked out of the door and saw his face I started sweating and suddenly I couldn’t speak. The overall experience helped me realize what I want – and how much better I deserve to be treated. There are people out there who will give you the world and mean it. It was the exact push I needed to become the heroine in my own story.
Buy Yourself a Journal
Writing is one of the most powerful tools in the world. The best movies, the best songs, the best poems, and the best growth all have to start somewhere. And that somewhere is with a pen and a piece of paper. You can pour every ounce of your soul into a journal that may never see the light of day, but it is one of the most therapeutic things a person can do. My journal is filled with pure honesty and emotions that I may never have the heart to express. It gives you the opportunity to look back at all your progress and say, “Holy shit who even was that person?” It will have you laughing and crying, and it will help you grow more than you ever thought you could.
Dating myself is the most fun I’ve had in a long time. And I mean real fun, not the fun I convinced myself I was having freshman year of college. But above all, I finally feel at peace. There’s no one to answer to but myself, and when there is someone to answer to, it will feel right. For now, I’m riding solo and taking care of myself, and I recommend you do the same if you find yourself in a similar position as I was in last year. There is nothing but pure happiness on the other side, and I hope everyone can find someone as special as me! Does that sound conceited? Good. I hope it does.