I’ve been a romance lover ever since I was a little girl. From reading romance novels and fanfiction, to obsessing over TV-ships (on-screen relationships). I still remember falling in love with my first ship when I watched Austin & Ally on Disney Channel when I was 12. I was obsessed with them, and they’re still one of my favorite ships to this day. Watching that when I was young made me want my own friends-to-lovers romance. Â
Since then, I’ve fallen in love with many other love stories in shows, movies, and books that I’ve read, but I still haven’t experienced the true romance I desire. Now, I’m starting to wonder if it even exists in this generation. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve talked to plenty of guys, and I’ve had a few talking stages as well, but I still feel as though genuine connection is something that our generation lacks.Â
I never experienced the high school romance that I dreamt of, and I hoped that I would find it in college. However, I’m a senior now, and I’m still searching for a romantic connection. I’ve never been in a relationship, I haven’t had any romantic experiences other than a few dates, and I still haven’t had any sexual experiences. Â
To all the women in college reading this: don’t feel like you need to follow a timeline. Believe me, I used to think I was going to have a high school musical romance like Troy and Gabriella, and I just recently grew out of the notion that there are certain ages you should have your first kiss, be married, and have kids. Just live your life and have experiences; don’t let society try and tell you that you’re behind. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be. Â
Hookup culture has always existed, but over the years I’ve noticed how much space it takes up in college and our generation. It is another part of why people don’t want to get to know one another or form relationships. Of course, we’re college students and exploring, so while I’m sharing my thoughts on hookup culture, I’m not judging those who partake. I’ve come to realize that hookup culture has become the norm, and I think that there needs to be more discussion about it. Â
Not everyone wants to hook up. Some people want to be in relationships, and it can be hard to find them in college. Dating apps have become “hookup” apps, and while there are various categories for different relationship types on dating apps—short-term fun, long-term relationships, etc.—it seems like dating apps aren’t meant for dating anymore. Â
To me, dating apps feel like an endless cycle. I’ve deleted and re-downloaded Hinge and Tinder too many times to count. I’ve been on these apps since my freshman year of college. There have only been a few guys who seemed like they wanted to have a genuine connection, while the rest just want sex—at least, that’s been my experience. While dating apps have a positive side, such as being a space online where people with similar interests can interact, there’s also a negative side to them. There’s a lack of authenticity that stems from these dating apps. People feel comfortable saying things they wouldn’t say to someone’s face, which is the case with most forms of social media. People also pretend to be people they’re not, such as “performative males” who falsely advertise themselves through their dating profiles. Â
Gen Z has heavily relied on social media to connect—rightfully so in some ways. During COVID, social media was the only way to make connections with one another. Now, a few years later, dating apps still feel like the standard way of meeting people. For example, if you say you want to date somebody, someone might say to you, “Have you tried Hinge or Tinder?” What happened to meeting people in person and forming connections that way? I still look at dating apps here and there, but I’ve come to a realization that I’d rather meet someone in person. However, even that seems hard nowadays. Â
I want to have the perfect “meet-cute”—you know, meeting at a coffee shop or bookstore. While I don’t think it’s unattainable, it can be a bit unrealistic. If you’re like me and love romance in the media, you may desire a love story and “meet-cute” like that, too. However, it’s good to be realistic about these things. You may not meet the person of your dreams in the way you expect; the person of your dreams might be a completely different person than you imagine. Try to melt into the spontaneity of life every now and then. Your love stories are being written right now, and you might not even know it. Â
In this endless sea of inauthenticity and hookup culture, stay true to you and what you want, even if that means a romance like the ones you’ve read about and see in shows and movies. While media may be unrealistic in some ways, the love that you feel from these stories is something real, and it does exist.