The College Girl’s Guide to Surviving the Summer at Home

Funny isn’t it -- how during the bleak times that were high school, all you could look forward to were the warm and carefree days that summer break had to offer. Now, (unless you can afford to vacation in Cabo all June and July) summer in college might just be the most boring, uneventful time of the year.

Honestly, at this point, you’d happily put up with the tests and assignments that come with college -- if that meant it came along with freedom and maybe a vodka soda.

By now, you’ve survived about a month of being home. That’s a whole month of overbearing parents, an 11:00 p.m. curfew, and paying for gas (the horror). The saddest part: you’re not even halfway done. Luckily, here’s your guide to surviving the rest of June… and then all of the July… and really most of August too. Sigh.

Accept Defeat

The day you dreaded for months and months finally came: move out day. After an exhausting day of tears and carrying the boxes of useless sh*t you accumulated throughout the year, you and your *college* friends finally said your goodbyes. So what’s left to do now except ugly cry and psychotically scroll through your Snapchat memories, desperately trying to relive your glory days? Unfortunately, you look like a beached whale in literally every single picture, so Instagram isn’t really a viable option. But at least you have it for the #mems.

Obsessively text everyone from college

… You know, so they don’t forget about you! Something big happened? Text them. Something not that big happened but you’re lonely and their attention validates you? Text them. Better yet, call them. Or, bring back Oovoo for a good ol’ group Facetime session.

Don’t forget to keep up with your college boyfriend the college boy you casually stalk

He thought he was gonna forget about you! As if! Text, call, and Facetime him everyday to ensure that your ~bf~ doesn’t move on with a girl from his hometown. Honestly, you might as well just show up at his house, because I’m sure he loves surprises! Especially when they come in the form of a girl he’s casually hung out with like six whole times. Whoever said that absence makes the heart grow fonder was definitely that same girl that claims to “hate attention” and probably still uses white borders on her Instagram photos.

Maybe start doing something -- like literally anything

Now that you’ve spent days (or weeks) moping around and plotting how to stay relevant in all of your friends’ lives, it’s time you *maybe* start focusing on your own life. So, catch up on sleep, hang out with your friends from high school, and *God forbid* get a job. You’ll be surprised how much faster the days go when you’re not incessantly reliving the past.

Stay Active! #athletic #sports #gobirds

Honestly, it is exhausting being soooOoOOo athletic. Or, like, at least you assume it would be. Well, this summer, you’re gonna know what that ~grind~ feels like because this is finally the summer that you’re going to be fit. Getting into the routine of going to the gym is not an easy task at first, but eventually your workout will be integrated into your daily schedule.

Spend ~quality~ time with your family

Remember your 8th grade sister who you’ve had maybe two conversations with since January? Yes, her! Since she’s young, you can assume that she probably has nothing to do and so you can force her to spend time with you, her ~amazing~ older sis, right? Wrong. She’s way cooler than you were in middle school, but, like, maybe you could tag along to the movies with her and her friends, who, btw, are also disturbingly cool for still not hitting puberty.

Keep in touch with your high school friends

High school friends are the best -- seriously. They’ve been there through it all: the braces, the breakups, the breakdowns -- the list goes on. Remember when you died your hair dark brown to look like Blair Waldorf? They remember that too. Or when you swore your life was ~over~ when your boyfriend of two whole months broke up with you? They were there and even pretended like it mattered. Ugh, they are godsent. Even though you’ve all moved on and made other friends at college, you’ll all have a special place in your hearts for each other. Sadly, there’s not always much to do at home -- and you and all of your friends will eventually become bored with the trips to Applebee’s half-priced apps that occur an upwards of four times a week.

Lose your sh*t

Alright, you tried. You really, really have been trying to enjoy your time at home, but honestly, you just want to be back at college. So, until that beautiful August day comes, just obsessively daydream about your return to the collegiate lifestyle. It’s only unhealthy if people find out, duh! Make a collage of all your favorite pictures from the past year. Create a Pinterest board of how you want your apartment to look next year. Get a timer app that counts down your return to college down to the very second. Do whatever you have to do to get you through these *tough* times. Until you return, crack open a Natty Lite, pretend you enjoy beer, close your eyes, and pretend you’re in North Philly. You’ll be back in your element soon enough.