As we all know, February is the month of love, happiness, and connection. But sometimes we may tend to wonder if the person that we are talking to is truly worthy of our time and effort. Thankfully, I had the opportunity to ask a couple of friends: What makes a guy boyfriend material?
To me, a man who is boyfriend material is a person who you don’t have to lower your standards for and is someone who you can grow, share memories, and work towards your goals with. Here’s a more in-depth list of what I came up with.
- Respect Me in Public & Private
Having a man who is respectful is number one on my list. To me, a relationship without respect is a recipe for disaster. I feel that not only men, but both parties should be able to treat one another politely and consider each other’s feelings even when you’re at odds.
Everything in a relationship won’t be sunshine and rainbows, so I feel that at times when feelings may change and emotions may arise, if respect is there, working through things can be a lot easier. Don’t disrespect my boundaries by texting the next girl on Instagram just because we had an argument—conflict isn’t a free pass to entertain someone else.
- Be My Peace, Not My Problem
Number two on my list is wanting someone who makes me feel safe. Now I don’t just mean “make me feel safe” as protected when we’re outside together, but I also want someone who can be my safe place in this chaotic world we live in. Whenever I’m having a bad day, I want you to be the first one I talk to about it. I want you to be able to take accountability and not run from our problems whenever we may have a disagreement. But most of all, I want to feel safe by your emotional presence—comfort me, know what to say to cheer me up, and simply just be there for me… even in the quiet moments when nothing needs to be said.
- No Group Chat Headlines
At this point in my life, I have so many good things going for myself and having a boyfriend who doesn’t bring any outside baggage with him is a MUST. My circle is very small on purpose, so being with someone who always has to be in the mix, thrives off being messy, and who purposefully tries to get me out of character is a big no-no.
To me, emotional maturity is a necessity because I no longer have the time nor energy to question every little thing, try to read mixed singles, or think about what you’re hiding from me. I want someone who doesn’t drain me, who doesn’t increase my anxiety and mostly importantly, someone who isn’t confused about who or what they want. I want you to bring the best out of me. (PSA: if you have a girl best friend, stay AWAY.)
- Dates > Dorm Room
For me personally, I still want to be taken out on dates. I want to do fun activities, and even take part in spontaneous “get ready, we’re going out” moments. Sometimes I feel that men become content with not taking their girlfriend out anymore simply because he’s already secured the title for you. That’s something that I don’t want.
I want someone who will still romance me, write me cute love notes, surprise me, etc. Call me corny if you want, but I feel like that’s one of the best parts of dating someone. No matter how long we’re together, I want you to still act like you’re trying to get me—not because you have to, but because you want to.
- Did Mama Raise You Right?
Now this one may seem a little out of the ordinary, but I feel that how your significant other treats his family is a direct reflection of how he will treat you. If he’s disrespectful to his mom, yells at her, or talks back to her in any kind of way, this shows a lot about his character and the way he treats others. I know for a fact that’s not what I want. Furthermore, I’m very big on family, and being with someone who also shares those same values is important to me.
Although these five bullets are just a small segment of what I look for in a guy, they’re still very important to me. So please consider this the fine print before you click “apply.”