Because let’s face it: moving on feels really strange.
Whether it’s a friendship, relationship, or situationship, moving on is weird. I can’t even begin to count the amount of now useless facts and tidbits I know about people who are no longer in my life. Whether it’s that So-and-So’s favorite song holds a lot of meaning for them on a deeply personal level, or that John Doe actually really likes the smell of gasoline, everyone we have ever had some form of connection with has left an impression on us that never leaves. While the feelings go, the memories stay.
That’s what makes it all the more difficult: What am I supposed to do with the stupid joke or the silly meme I saw on the internet that I can’t even send you because I broke up with you? Or because we’re no longer friends? Why do I have to keep living with the fact that I know this story would make you laugh but I really don’t care if it does, because we aren’t in each other’s lives anymore?
The answer is simply: nothing. We all learn things about one another and despite it all, keep moving forward in life. It’s kind of like hearing bits and pieces about somebody when you’re waiting in line for a coffee and then you leave and carry on with your life, and your coffee. Moving on is the weird dance between I don’t care about it now and but I still really cared then. It’s the bittersweet remembering of everything that transpired, and knowing you both are two different people now, or on two different paths.
In my experience, moving on can make you feel hollow. You feel as though somebody carved out a space inside of you, and when they leave, there’s just this emptiness. Sometimes the weight of this space makes you feel sad, and sometimes you don’t really feel anything at all.
Recently, I was listening to music when a song came on that a guy I was seeing a few years back had sent to me. Whenever I listen to this song, I remember that time of my life, but I don’t feel anything. He became just another overheard story in a coffee shop, and the song with a story had become storyless, even when it was still there.
So maybe that person you’re thinking about while reading this still stings that hollow part of you. Maybe they don’t. Maybe it just depends on the day. I want to remind you that however you’re feeling, grieving, and healing is okay. At the end of the day, we all move on. It just takes time, and that’s okay.