Shades of vibrant red, borderline obnoxious girls in tube tops screaming, “go owls” (I mean, same), frat brother Chad holding a Natty Lite in each hand, all while in the middle of a field — well, you know it must be a Temple tailgate. As loud, over-the-top, and, quite frankly, messy as tailgating may be, we all haul our sleep-deprived selves out to a muddy field to have enough fun that we *almost* forget the shame in day-drinking. Almost.
Getting pumped up for a game, no matter what the circumstances, is a pretty fun activity for a Saturday afternoon, even if you ruin your white Converse (ugh). However, the piercing daylight is a much different atmosphere than the dark frat basement that most of us are unfortunately used to. With the dim lighting and the seizure-inducing strobe lights of a frat, it’s easy to pretend you didn’t see the person that you try so desperately to avoid on a day-to-day basis. But at 2 p.m. on a field, you know you saw them from 20 feet away — and you know they saw you too.
Here are six people you’re guaranteed to see at a Temple tailgate.
1.The boy who ghosted you last week
Relationship goals is getting ignored by your not-boyfriend at a tailgate when you could probably sketch the layout of his entire apartment by memory — you know, because you saw it last week. Long story short: you haven’t texted in a few days, and the obvious way he’s avoiding eye contact with you at the tailgate is pretty solid proof that he probably won’t be shooting you a text any time soon. You’re about three beers deep, so, naturally, you don’t give an eff. It’s 2018, ladies, we don’t let boys with Sperry’s and inconsistent texting habits hurt our feelings.
2. The boy in class last year who doesn’t remember your name
We’re not talking 200-person lecture hall. We’re talking small, intimate, 25-students-maximum class room. Not to mention, he was in your group for multiple projects. You, being your always bubbly self, give him a quick “hey *insert name*,” but all you’re given back is confusion. Naturally, you lose all respect for him. Jk — kind of. I carried that group and you’re welcome for the A+, Mike.
3. The borderline Instagram famous girl you casually stalk
There she is: hair in a high ponytail, white and black checkered vans — completely on-brand. Honestly, you’re pretty sure tube tops are the only item she has in her closet. And TBH, you’re wearing the exact same outfit as her, yet she just makes it look cooler. Sit down, accept defeat, and recognize that she could post a picture of her big toe and get more Instagram likes than you ever could.
4. The freshmen that don’t even know what’s happening
Match a Temple bookstore t-shirt with a face of confusion and fear and you’ve probably found a freshman. Ugh, seriously, who let them in? Sorry, we’re capped.
5. One, two, maybe 15 of your Tinder matches
In this day in age, everyone has the popular dating app Tinder. Chances are, you’re going to run into some of your *many* matches at some point, considering you all live in a two mile radius from each other. Maybe you’ll see them while you’re waiting in line at Jamba Juice post-workout glow and all. Maybe you’ll see him stumbling from party to party on a Saturday night — we never said we had the best taste in men, ok? And maybe, just maybe, you’ll see him in the blinding daylight of a Temple tailgate, and that’s just the worst scenario of all.
6. Your future husband? Maybe? Please?
Ladies, aren’t we all just tryna find our future husband at Temple tailgates? There’s just something about the toxic masculinity of football and the taste of a warm Natty Lite that just makes you start hearing wedding bells.