I still remember my first day of kindergarten:
My hair was cut in a bad 90s bob and my mother sent me off with a bagged lunch and some wise words –both equally important as the other. I can’t remember the advice exactly, but it went something like this: Look both ways before crossing the street. Don’t talk to strangers. It’s okay if you don’t know where you’re going and get lost along the way.
After completing my first month of college, these rules have expanded a bit, but they still mirror what my mother said thirteen years before. Now, they go a little more like this:
Be aware of your surroundings. Don’t leave that party with a boy you just met (not matter how charming he may be). It’s still okay if you don’t know where you’re going—with career paths, with relationships, or with regional rail schedules. Many of you may follow these same rules, and may have noticed that they’ve gotten trickier to follow as we’ve gotten older. But then again, we all have better haircuts now. So we can’t complain too much.
If you too are a freshman in college, I want to share some of my advice free of charge.
I promise I won’t be preachy—like that girl from middle school who claimed that since her birthday was in October, and yours was in April, she was somehow “more mature” – I’m as new at this as you are. For starters, I think we can all agree that: 1) October-Girl sucked, and, 2) As any broke college student says to a free offering: I’ll take it.
Here are 15 survival tips that all freshmen women should live by:
1. Goodbye, High School. You won’t be missed.
Remember block scheduling? Let’s just say there’s a reason all of my night terrors are set in my high school’s auditorium. I never want to go back there. And what’s great? None of us have to. Welcome to the wonderful blank slate known as college.
2. The Great [Frat]sby
If you’ve been invited to a Frat party, here are some things to consider before you go. First, don’t wear white shoes. You’ll ruin then. Also, be prepared to sweat. It’s hot in there. If you start talking to a frat guy, he is most likely named Brad or Matt. Most of them are. Also, in my opinion, they’re not that fun. I’m sure Brad/Matt will take offense to this. But, honestly, I don’t care.
3. Choose a major that you actually enjoy.
Even if it doesn’t involve getting that business degree your family members are pushing you toward. “Practicality” over passion is a mistake that so many people fall victim to.
4. Don’t go to the Dunkin’ on the weekend around 11:00 AM.
I made this mistake once and I ended up with a cold bagel and crushed dreams. I know the sweatpants and last-night’s-eyeliner would only be completed with iced coffee in hand, but that’s everyone else’s campus morning #look too. Get creative. Get a Keurig.
5. Brew your own coffee.
Refer above.
6. Buy groceries/toiletries that promote a lazy lifestyle.
The holy trinity is as follows: Dry shampoo. Protein bars. Plastic utensils. (Who has time to wash dishes?)
7. Utilize the City
I don’t want to sound like a travel guide here, but Philadelphia is one of the liveliest cities. Take the subway to the art museum, South Street, or Penn’s Landing.
8. Eating alone is ultimately the norm.
Remember the anxiety you’d get in highschool trying to find someone to sit with in the lunchroom? Yeah, that doesn’t exist anymore.
9. You’ll be doing a LOT of walking
Your classes will be spread out in different buildings. You’re friends may live in different dorms. No gym membership can prepare you for this.
10. Be careful of what you post on social media.
Snapchats or Instagrams with alcoholic beverages or revealing outfits may seem harmless, but be mindful of who may be viewing them, and the consequences that may come from your actions. When in doubt, put the camera down.
11. Avoid 8:00 AMs.
8:00 AMs are like that bad ex you try to avoid at all costs but inevitably run into.
12. Don’t let a guy dictate your relationship!
A lot of college guys are just looking for casual sex, but if you’re not into that, don’t be afraid to end things. Put it this way: If the dog from Lady and the Tramp was eating Italian, then we should all be eating Italian.
13. Pods go in the wash. Sheets go in the dryer.
Ah, now I know what Jennifer Aniston’s character meant by “Laundry Virgin” in that one episode of Friends. This sounds nonsensical, but you wouldn’t believe how frequently people mess this up.
14. Balance is key.
Going out excessively will, in the end, only hurt you and/or your GPA.
15. Oh, and call your mother.
She misses you.
And don’t worry if you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing – no one else does either.