Nothing fuels quick feet leaving the grocery store like the adorable eyes of a cute, five-year-old Girl Scout beseeching you to buy just one more box of Girl Scout cookies.
We’re all secretly addicted and willing to fork over another $6 (thanks to inflation) for a sugary box of crunchy goodness. But we shouldn’t because our freezer is already stuffed with sleeves of them. But we should because it’s only once a year. But we shouldn’t…
So naturally, little Sarah takes another chunk of my hard-earned cash, and my freezer bulges with Girl Scout cookies.
The wondrous season of cookies has come upon us, so I thought it might be fun to share my unfiltered opinions on this year’s cookie lineup.
S Tier
Only two cookies can be placed in the S-tier line: Thin Mints and Samoas (also sold as Caramel deLites). These minty chocolate and chewy coconut cookies make the most epic flavor combinations. Perfect to keep frozen or chilled in your fridge and impossible to replicate. When I crave a Girl Scout cookie, it’s these two.
A Tier
Peanut Butter Patties or Tagalongs come as an incredibly close second to the S-tier cookies. I also enjoy freezing these salty treats and adding them to my order rotation every year. The only thing keeping these from the top of my list is the fact that I can find similar snacks during the rest of the year that can satiate my appetite.
B Tier
Okay, here’s where things might get controversial. I put Adventurefuls and Lemonades in B-Tier. They’re not always worth buying, but I try to steal a few every season. The Lemonades are light and tart, differentiating themselves from the other cookie flavor profiles. The Adventureful brownies were a fun addition in the previous few years. I dock them points for texture, but I love sea salt and caramel.
C Tier
Middle-of-the-road drivers include Girl Scout S’mores and Peanut Butter Sandwich or Do-si-dos. They’re alright. I won’t turn one down if offered, but I will never pay $6 for a box of their mediocrity.
D Tier
Trefoils take their rightful place in the D-tier. I actually remember liking these a few years back. You can’t go wrong with a classic shortbread cookie. But honestly, these just don’t stand out. I can snag a million other tea cookies that are similar enough at any grocery store.
F Tier
Caramel Chocolate Chip, Toffee-tastic, Toast-Yay!, and Lemon-Ups reside (sadly) in the F-tier. These are real? I’m not a gluten-free girl, so I can’t fairly judge, but no part of me wants to try these. Sorry, not sorry.
Happy cookie buying! Apologies if I made you hungry…