At TCU, students are required to live on campus for two years, moving off campus during their junior years. However, I loved the culture and comradery that came with the on-campus experience; I knew I wasn’t ready to let it go at the end of sophomore year. As a result, I transitioned to a resident assistant position in a first-year all-girls dorm on TCU’s campus for my junior year. Living on TCU’s campus for four years (two years as a student and two as an RA) has taught me a lot about dorm living. As I say goodbye to TCU, I’d like to impart some of the lessons I have learned to those moving to college soon or anyone looking to improve their campus-living experience.
Dorm life
DORM OR A HOME?
First, it’s important to ask: are you living in a dorm or a home? Obviously, moving into college means physically living in a dormitory. However, from observation, those who make their room and community feel like a second home have a successful dorm experience. Each year, I always make sure to bring at least five items that make the four walls I am living in feel like my personalized space. Whether I add photos of my friends/family, stuffed animals, a baby blanket, wall art, or a specific air freshener scent, my room is filled with comfort items that cozy up the space.
One thing about TCU girls is that they can deck out a room with the most glamorous art and décor. If this works for you, that’s great! I remember feeling overwhelmed walking past rooms in my freshman-year dorm that looked like they were put together by an interior designer. My approach to decorating my space was simplistic, and it worked for me. I found the items I needed to make my room feel special and was perfectly content. Regardless of where you fall on the college-dorm-décor spectrum, the extra effort to make a space homey goes a long way!
COMMUNICATION IS KEY
For most, college is the first time that they live in small confines with a roommate. This period of adjustment can come with growing pains. In my experience, the smoothest move-in transitions and roommate relationships are ones where there is never-ending communication. Unless you and your roommates are telepathic savants, it is impossible to know what your roommate needs or is feeling. Communication is necessary to set expectations at the beginning of the school year. 95% of the roommate conflicts that I have dealt with have been a product of a lack of or miscommunicated expectations.
Are you a morning or night person? What time do you usually head to bed every night? Are you okay with having guests over? Do you want to be left alone or approached when having a bad day? What items in the room are you okay sharing? When do you not want to be bothered? Now, your answers to these questions may change throughout the year. However, as long as these changes in expectations are made clear throughout the year, your roommate relationships should be smooth sailing.
COMPROMISE
College is a busy time. Each roommate operates on a different schedule and has various daily habits that may not completely align. To room with others who have differing living habits requires compromise. If you like to stay up late at night, you probably have to sleuth around to avoid waking up your roommate. If your roommate doesn’t like when you bring too many friends over, you may have to find somewhere else to hang out. Both roommates have to split limited storage, decorative wall space, and cleaning responsibilities.
Compromise is easier for some than others. Some students come into college having never shared anything with someone. Others have had lots more practice compromising and sharing with siblings, friends, etc. Regardless of your background, setting an expectation that compromise is needed to make a roommate situation work can mitigate several future problems.
Now, as a resident senior, I’d like to harp on some hard-learned lessons from my time in college. If someone told me these at the beginning of college, I would have vehemently disagreed. But I have indeed come around and think these are some valuable pieces of advice I would urge others to consider.
WHY IT’S OKAY TO EAT ALONE SOMETIMES
During my first year, there was nothing I thought to be more embarrassing than eating alone at the dining hall. If I didn’t have someone to go with, I wouldn’t go at all. After becoming an RA, all my friends who lived off campus did not have an on-campus meal plan. That meant if I couldn’t grab food with a fellow RA, I was frequently on my own. While difficult at first, I found lots of freedom in eating on my own schedule. I wasn’t waiting 30 minutes here and there to catch a meal with a friend. Eating alone meant I could eat quickly and begin tackling other items on my to-do list.
I still eat many meals with others, but I have grown comfortable sitting alone. I can pull my laptop out to get work done, catch up on the news, or watch a comfort show, and all three are just as comforting as grabbing a meal with friends.
So, is eating a meal alone embarrassing? NO! It’s just valuable alone time that allows you to replenish your body, be with your thoughts, and organize the rest of your day.
FOMO:
The social calendar of college is a double-edged sword. While there is always something to do, it is easy to say yes to everything. Freshman year of college is an exciting time. There are new faces around you, but if you say no to doing something one night, you may miss out on meeting two new friends. I went through this back-and-forth struggle during my freshman year.
And then our first biology exam hit. I realized if I wanted to succeed academically, I had to give and take when it came to my social life. If I said yes to everything, I would burn out within a month of each semester. Saying no didn’t mean I was a bum; it meant I was dedicating my time to something else that was just as important. If your friends are peer pressuring you to neglect your academic or personal needs to attend some event on the social calendar, they don’t have your best interest at heart. You are not falling behind on making friends if you have to stay in a couple of times a week to study or rest! I promise. Take it from the pre-med student who has developed the most wonderful friendships during college.
GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM!
On the flip side of FOMO, it is still so important to get out of your room. Firstly, this means going to class and making sure you are eating three meals a day. Beyond that, this also means taking time to pursue hobbies that give you joy. What do you love to do in your free time? Play pickleball? Go to the local museum? Try a new coffee shop? Whatever it may be, getting out of your room is an incredibly valuable way to feel revitalized.
I get it. There is nothing more comforting than rotting in bed, scrolling on your phone, and periodically snacking. Yet, I don’t feel satisfied after hours of scrolling TikTok; I feel unproductive. When midterm season comes around, it can be easy to curl up in bed in a ball of anxiety over an upcoming test, project, or presentation. During those times, I force myself to find a local study spot on campus. Even if it means going to the lobby of my dorm, getting out of my room is a great way to break the funk that the stress of classes can often put me in.
While I could go on and on about the insightful lessons I have taken away from college, I think this is a great starting point! College is an unpredictable rollercoaster. Don’t beat yourself up for making a mistake. That’s what college is for. Celebrate the successes, learn from your mistakes, and trust that you will leave college a thousand times wiser than when you started.