Well, folks, I think I’ve finally hit my limit – I’m done with men. Usually, when my friends and I say this, we don’t always mean it, but I’m really trying to stick to it this time. I’ve lost my faith in men at the moment, and I’m calling it quits. However, this decision leaves me in a bit of a dilemma – my anti-man era is beginning right in the midst of the winter months, affectionately referred to as cuffing season. If you, like me, are swearing off relationships, but are daunted by the idea of enduring cuffing season single, never fear, for I’m here to give you all my best tips on making the most of the winter months (and life in general!) when you find yourself without a partner.
Tip number one: Cherish your alone time
Now, I’m aware that this is easier said than done, but in a society that is built on socialization, alone time often gets neglected. As an introvert, I’ve always enjoyed having time to myself, and the chilly winter months are the perfect time to stay inside when the outside world feels like too much. Play some music, curl up in a blanket, and light a seasonal candle (don’t tell my RA I said that). Now is your chance to start that hobby you’ve always wanted to try – crochet, baking, journaling, and reading trashy romance novels are a few of my personal favorites. Alone time gives you a chance to recharge your social battery, and even you extroverts out there need it every now and then.
Tip number two: Cultivate your friendships
If you’re just getting out of a relationship, or school has been keeping you busy, chances are you may not have spent a ton of time with your friends in a while. Whenever I start to feel lonely and single, I remind myself that I have other people in my life who I love. Take this chance to spend time with your friends. Your relationships with them are just as important as any romantic relationship. Take an outing to the pumpkin patch or apple orchard, plan a Secret Santa gift exchange, or go sledding! Hot tip: lots of traditional date activities can be easily adapted into a girls’ night. Don’t let your single-ness stop you from doing fun winter activities!
Tip number three: Get to know yourself
Sometimes a relationship can feel like a personality trait or something that defines you. And if you go through a breakup, you might feel like you lost part of yourself. Great news, gals, it’s not true! Your relationship status doesn’t have to define your identity, and being single is a great way to check back in on yourself. Take some time to rediscover your interests, your goals, and your future. When your life isn’t contingent on someone else’s, it’s easier to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Figure out what you want from yourself and other people in the coming years!
Tip number four: Start working on that self-love
Personally, I have yet to meet someone who feels truly confident and accepting of themselves at all times. If you exist, I’m so proud of you, and please tell me your secrets. However, being single, for better or for worse, forces you to get your validation from internal sources instead of external ones. Now, I enjoy ignoring my deepest fears and insecurities as much as the next person, but facing them now will prevent consequences later, and set you up for healthier relationships in the future, should you decide to pursue them. Try doing some journaling, talking to someone you trust, or even looking into therapy. (No judgment or stigma shall be found here. Asking for help is always the move!)
Tip number five: Enjoy your freedom
As awesome as it is to be in a committed relationship, there’s a certain degree of freedom to being single. You don’t have to miss out on plans with friends, you don’t have to worry about any toxicity, and of course, flirting is always fun. All in all, you have your whole life to be tied to your future partner, but as a young college woman, there are so many irreplaceable experiences to be had. Take advantage of the freedom of being single, and put your energy toward building a life that you’re happy with, without depending on someone else for your joy.
I’m wishing all my fellow single ladies the best of luck this cuffing season, and for those of you with partners, I’m happy for you, but try not to rub it in. This winter, all my single gals and I are going to know our worth and put ourselves first. Then, when the right person eventually comes along, we’ll be ready.