We’ve all been there.
Whether it’s a relationship, friendship, or even a family bond, it’s so easy to find yourself putting other people’s needs in front of your own. And while it is healthy to care about the important people in your life, you shouldn’t only value them and not yourself.
Putting yourself first is not selfish. I don’t know where that insanely inaccurate stereotype came from. And, it also doesn’t make you care or love the other person any less. Something that so many people seem to struggle with, when they are in relationships, is loving themselves first. Whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, if you don’t value, love, and respect yourself, how is the other person supposed to? And when that relationship or friendship comes to an end, how are you supposed to deal, when all you know is how to value someone else?
At the end of the day, it’s you. People may come and go, but you are with yourself forever. It’s so important to make time for yourself, make decisions for yourself, and do things that make you happy. If you don’t do these things and are fully immersed in another person’s needs, how are you supposed to be happy? You shouldn’t exist merely for another person’s happiness. And the unfortunate fact of life is that people will disappoint you and if you lose yourself in those relationships, you won’t even know who you are anymore. And that’s a really scary thought.
By no means am I saying that relationships won’t work or that you can’t give others love and attention, but I am saying that you need to give the same love, respect, and passion, that you’re always giving to other people, to yourself. When you find a way to be completely 100% happy by yourself, the most healthy relationships have room to grow. When two people can exist solely for themselves, they can come together and have an amazing connection that doesn’t have roots in insecurity and doubt.
If you find yourself in a relationship or a friendship, and are worried about losing yourself, make sure you keep doing the things that you love to do.
If you love to run, keep running.
If you love to write, keep writing.
If you love to sing, keep singing.
Keep being you.
Never let someone else distract you from the things you’re passionate about because those are the very things that make you, you. Any type of relationship thrives when both people are able to do the things they love and share them with one another.
Relationships are extremely important, after all humans thrive when around others. And that makes human bonds beautiful. Finding someone that allows you to flourish and be curious about anything and everything, is probably one of the best things ever.
So go figure out what makes you happy and keep doing that. And surround yourself with people who support and encourage you to be yourself. Because there is only one you, and you should never allow yourself to lose the very things that make you special.
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