Suicide is not selfish. It almost pains me when people paint the passed individual as selfish or even inconsiderate. Because the decision to end one’s life is never rational, it biologically goes against a body’s unconscious mission of survival at all costs. Suicide happens when the mind is so clouded, so deeply hurt, so sick that the only possible solution seems to be death. No one sets an intention rationally of wanting to kill oneself. Life happens, and pain ensues. Mental health is more complicated than what can be explained in the following paragraphs, however I think there is one thing that we can come to: we cannot fully understand what a person is going through when suicide happens.
Shortly following my 17th birthday, a series of events led to my admission to a child mental health facility. The week I spent there, was not only terrifying but also incredibly eye opening. So very many teenagers were there following a suicide attempt. As we sat through groups and discussed the struggles so many of us faced it became ever so clear that the one who suffered the largest pain during a suicide attempt was the one who began those actions. The families, friends and loved ones of course suffered pain that cannot be quantified. However if we stop and consider the individual- what was going on that lead them to this outcome? How ever so dark was there world? How much pain was entrapped in their mind?
Ever so often the phrase “it gets better” is bombarded across social media following the news of a suicide. I wholeheartedly agree with this phrase. I am living proof that mental health suffering does end. However in my past I remember seeing this phrase and thinking, its may get better for them but not for me. I instead ask our world to be kinder.
Be kind. Involve people. Smile. Wave. Ask people how their day was. Connect with others. Connect with people who you never thought you could connect with. Hold the door; compliment that girl with that awesome skirt. Those most susceptible to suicide are those who lack connections, while not always the case, it is something we must remember.
I want to encourage those who are not dealing with suicidal thoughts to take action. I want to encourage people to help others. To befriend people. To show, not just tell others, that life indeed can be lovely. Show how the world we perceive gets better. Show how life improves. Show how beautiful things can be. Take hands with one another and go on an adventure.
I cannot tell you how thankful I am for my mother pulling me out of bed and forcing me out of my head. We as a campus community can continue to make a difference, we will remind ourselves that it does get better, but also that you are not alone, that you are an integral part of society.
Be kind, because we never know what someone else is going through. Never underestimate the value of a simple act of kindness.