By Devon Ziminski
Navigating the dining hall here at TCNJ can seem rather overwhelming, but for seasoned students, it’s a piece of cake. However, there are still many that struggle to follow the simple rules of dining hall etiquette. Here are some common issues I’ve noticed in Eickoff and how to avoid committing these heinous offenses yourself.
Getting Food:
For one, heavily sighing at me while I’m filling up my glass of water isn’t going to make the water come out any faster. So easy with the eye roll and wait your turn.
Hey, you know where a great place to have a full-on conversation with all of your girlfriends would be? Right in the middle of the dining hall, in front of the soda machines, where everyone is trying to walk. WRONG. Nobody wants or needs you blocking the already crowded walking areas with a story of your evil calculus teacher when we all know you are just going to repeat the exact same story to your friends once you sit down.
You decided to get an omelet today? Great! So you’re standing in line absentmindedly when the girl in front of you accidently tells the worker to put bacon, peppers, and onions in her omelet. But no, the worker was actually pointing to your omelet! And you HATE onions. Now panic and freak out, call the campus police. Hold on, just think before you freak out, is it really necessary to yell at the innocent girl who just wanted an omelet and accidently ordered the ingredients for your omelet? No. So relax, you’ll survive. Unless of course you’re allergic to something she asked for, well then that’s a game changer.
As for the salad bar, the key is to quickly grab whatever food you want and to keep the line MOVING. There is no point in seductively scooping up the shredded carrots hoping the cute guy at the lettuce bowl will notice you and be turned on by the carrots. He’s probably way too into the food he’s about to eat anyway. And you’re holding up the line.
Post Food:
What are you looking at? Oh right, sorry, I’m eating alone. So that obviously makes it okay to stare me down like I’m doing something weird or unheard of. Everyone eats alone every once in a while, so back off and embrace the me-time. We solitary eaters are hungry, so we come to eat. Plus, you’re just jealous because I have four plates of delicious food that I can chow down on while you’ve socially constrained yourself by eating with people.
The Finish:
Once you have successfully bypassed all of the above transgressions, the final obstacle is the disposal of your dishes. Proceed in a military-style fashion: walk in straight line, preferably single- file, with the pizza station on your right. On your RIGHT. Keep your head down and don’t make eye contact with anyone. Drop off your dishes and then you’ve successfully handled the intricate workings of a collegiate dining hall. Congratulations!