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The Struggles of Being an Ambivert

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at TCNJ chapter.

Ambiverts are a strange amalgam of an extrovert and an introvert. Sometimes we’re shy and other times we may be the most sociable person in the room. The exhibition of our introversion or extroversion really just depends on our mood or the context of the situation. So if asked whether we like to be with people or spend time alone, our answer is not of a binary nature. Instead, it’s composed of an effortless “It depends!” In a way, ambiverts are sort of the best of both worlds but it also comes with a fair share of struggles.

Your personality is always puzzling for your friends

One moment you can’t shut up and the other you wallow silently in the corner of the room. Your friends have seen you be both the life of the party and be the wallflower, which often leads them to think “Who are you?”

You love meeting new people but also dread crowds

Seeing big crowds ensues two different feelings inside you: excited about the opportunity to meet new, interesting people, or like drowning in a sea of people. 

You’re really bad at making plans

“Should I stay in or go out?” The question always haunts you. And most of the time you’re out, you end up wishing you’d stayed in. But staying in brings out a huge case of FOMO. 


You love spending time with your friends but equally cherish the idea of “alone time”

Hanging out and laughing with your friends brings you great happiness but there’s also no better feeling than staying in bed and watching a cute rom-com.

You love talking but only if it’s a deep and meaningful conversation

Like an extrovert, you enjoy having conversations with people, but like an introvert, you also find “small talk” extremely awkward.

You never really know what to expect from yourself

Your mood and outgoingness changes day-to-day so it’s always a surprise if you’re feeling like going on an adventure or staying in and watching Netflix.

Your comfort zone has its limits

Even though you feel relatively comfortable socializing, it’s always a struggle to assert yourself.

It’s hard to find a balance in life

You always find it hard to balance your social life. You either feel too burnt out when you’re out or feel like you’re being antisocial if you’re staying in. There’s never one perfect choice.

Although being an ambivert can be frustrating at times, you still enjoy geting the best of both worlds.


Sameen is currently a Campus Correspondent for HCTCNJ. She is a junior majoring in Biopsychology and is on a pre-med track. When not studying, she can be found curled up with a good book or trying her hand at a new hobby (e.g. playing the guitar, coding, learning a new language).
Mia is a writer for Her20s and former President of Her Campus TCNJ. She loves Her Campus's ability to empower the women of campus and beyond, and she hopes to continue spreading the site's messages of confidence and positivity. You can most likely find her reading, wandering around Trader Joes, or laying on the beach. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @missmiaingui.