94 out of every 100 rapists will never be called a rapist. Why? Because only 6 out of every 100 rapists will ever spend a day in jail. 94% of those who have sexually assaulted someone are just walking around, going through their daily routine, and enjoying their lives while the survivor sees no justice.
So this is to you, that 94%. The ones who got away with sexually assaulting another human being. The ones whose victim(s) did not report what you did to them. The ones whose victim(s) did, but you got away with it anyway. The ones who have been proven guilty, yet the media still refuses to use the word “rapist”, because you have too much privilege or have accomplished something good in your life before you decided to violate someone else’s.
You may not be called a “rapist”, your friends and family may have no idea what you’ve done, heck the person you assaulted may not even fully know what you did to them, but you know. You know that you used your power, your strength, your force, to violate another human being in a way that many never recover from.
Many of you do not believe yourself to be rapists. Many of you truly do not think you ever sexually assaulted anyone in the first place. “They wanted it”, “they never said no”, “they were asking for it”, “they were dressed provocatively anyway”, “they said yes at first”. You believe those to be valid excuses. You believe in that misguided head of yours that you really didn’t do anything wrong.
Wanna know what’s insane? You get to go on living your life, the rapist that will never be called a rapist, and you will get to enjoy that life. The person you assaulted? You have taken so much away from them. You have just changed their life forever. Many will not recover, suffer from mental illness, live in constant fear, stop trusting others, and endure pain that you will never understand…and it’s all because of you.
Whether you did not serve any time or served a miniscule amount of time because “a prison sentence would have a severe impact” on you or because your victim did not report what you did, or because no one believed it was true…whatever the reason is, it is unacceptable.
I hope you see this article on your Facebook feed or stumble upon it one day somewhere on the internet and I hope you read it, knowing it is directed at you. I hope you understand the impact you have had on the individual you assaulted. I hope you live the rest of your life with regret, knowing your true self, knowing you’re a rapist.
Society is messed up, point blank. Consent is not “sexy”, it is mandatory and it must be clearly stated. Survivors are not at fault, and everyone (not just males) needs to learn what consent truly means. Hold yourself accountable, hold your friends accountable. Be there for each other and know when to step in when it seems like a friend may be in trouble, and know HOW to step in. Boys will not “just be boys”, making a move on someone who is unable to consent or who clearly says no is not just “having fun”, it is assault. Say it for what it is, stop dancing around this subject as if it is delicate, because the victims were not treated that way during their assault.
Enough is enough, call them what they are: rapists.
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, go to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) to learn about actions you can take. If you need immediate help, please call their 24/hr free, confidential, hotline 800-656-HOPE.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Prevention Month. Sexual assault is not just a women’s issue, it is a human issue. To learn more about sexual assault statistics and learn how to become an advocate and educate others, go to RAINN.
Statics source: Women and Crime: A Text/Reader by Stacy L. Mallicoat