I embodied a victim of domestic violence on October 25. I was one of the many faces of domestic violence, which impacts one in four women in her lifetime, and one in 10 men.
As I walked around campus with the visible “bruise” on my face in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I received a lot of stares and concerned looks. As I talked to acquaintances, they stared at my bruise, but nobody said anything.
Nobody asked if I was OK. Nobody asked how I got this bruise. They just stared or tried not to stare during our brief interactions.
I sat in a meeting for almost an hour with three classmates, who stared at my face, gave me sympathetic looks, but didn’t say anything.
I began trying to hide my bruise by wearing sunglasses, letting my hair fall a bit further on my face than usual, and turning my head so people walking in my direction couldn’t see the mesh of black and blue on my right cheekbone.
I imagined how I would feel if this bruise was actually from my partner, a friend, or a parent. I would feel embarrassed, I wouldn’t have a badge that read, “Ask me how it happened,” and there wouldn’t be numerous other people on campus with similar bruises, who were taking part in the awareness event.
If that bruise was real, I would have covered it with makeup, which is probably what other people were thinking when they saw it. “Why didn’t she cover that with makeup??”
If I couldn’t cover it with makeup, I would have crawled back into bed and slept the day away, hoping it would look less harsh the next morning.
I was concerned that nobody asked me where this bruise came from. I can’t imagine ignoring a giant bruise on someone’s face. I began to lose hope in the campus that I call home and the people I call my friends.
It wasn’t until I walked in my house and one of my housemates shouted, “What the [heck] happened?!” that if my bruise had been real, any person would have expressed concern. It was such a good feeling to know that someone was worried about my safety.
I was one of the many faces of domestic violence, which impacts millions of people each year in the U.S. alone. It can reach any class, any race, any gender, any age. Anyone can be a victim.
By asking about a bruise and checking on a friend, we can help break the silence surrounding domestic violence.
If you or someone you know has been affected by domestic violence, please contact the Office of Anti-Violence Initiatives by visiting Holman 307 or by calling (609) 771-2272.