If you are like me, you are the type of person that the word “change” scares the sh** out of you. You simply don’t like change and want absolutely no part of it at all. As I have grown up and entered my 20s, I realize that there is no more avoiding change. I find myself never being able to escape the consistent modifications of my life. I mean, ever since I was a little girl, I could recall the tantrums that stemmed from my parents moving me around and making me change everything that felt comfortable in my life. I could remember a time in my life where every single aspect of my life was being altered. I was moving schools, changing soccer teams, moving homes, and leaving all my friends behind. I let this stress me out so much that I had gotten out of the pool one time, and my hair began to fall out. I even developed an uncontrollable twitch. So, believe me when I say that change has been no friend of mine.
The most significant changes in my life happened through my college experience, and I am only in my junior year. As I entered my freshman year, I wanted absolutely nothing to do with college. Even the word “college” alone made me nauseous. Why would someone want to go to college? College meant leaving friends from high school that was supposed to last a lifetime. College meant not sleeping in my comfy bed and now having to sleep in a wooden dorm room bed that took up half of the room. College told me everything was changing, and nothing was ever going to be the same again. I also failed to mention that I was going to college two months earlier than all my friends were. I played soccer and, at this time, was obligated to start the literal day after I graduated high school. It was like getting your diploma and packing your bag because you have to leave tomorrow. Great!
So, I began college and remember turning to my mom, saying the people I have been surrounded with are simply “not my people.” I can 100% own up and say I have never been so wrong in my entire life. Those people ended up being my home away from home.
I would describe my freshmen and sophomore year of college as living the same day repeatedly. My day would go like this:
- Get up.
- Go to classes.
- Go to practice.
- Go to classes.
- Have dinner.
- Do homework, get to bed.
It was a never-ending cycle of the same events. I grew to become very unhappy. I wasn’t dissatisfied with my friends or my social life, but my personal life is where I found myself lost the most. I grew not to love myself, and I found myself hating the things around me. I was surrounded by an environment that made me feel as if I was never good enough.
So, I started believing that about myself. It was time to make, dare I say it, a change.
I have always been the type of person who has difficulty deciding to change my life, but once the change has fully happened, I am happy that I made the decision. I decided that it was time for me to transfer schools. This meant leaving my friends, my boyfriend, the apartment I shared with best friends, and everything that made me feel comfortable but at the same time not comfortable at all.
I am now a junior in college, transferring to a college where I knew nobody and had to find where I fit in the most. I still play college soccer, and I live with two roommates who I knew nothing about at first, but are getting to know each other–– slowly but surely. I still stay in touch with my best friends, and I still have my amazing boyfriend, who supported me through all the changes my life underwent. I am thriving in aspects of my life that I did not think I would ever succeed in. I am doing things that genuinely make me happy and healthy.
Listen to me when I say this decision to change everything about my life in the middle of my junior year of college saved my life.
My advice to you if you are reading this is to embrace and welcome change. It is so scary to think your life could change overnight, but mine did, and without this happening to me, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am today.
And who knows, maybe another change will enter my life shortly!