New friends, homesickness, dining hall dinners, and learning that doing your own laundry is, in fact, a full-time job.
There is something so exciting about the idea of college. You picture yourself decorating the cutest dorm room, finding your people, making spontaneous late night plans, and living in what seems to be a movie. Suddenly, you’re picking out bedding on Pinterest, making endless Target runs, and convincing yourself that you absolutely need another set of throw pillows for your new home away from home.
And then move-in day arrives.
One minute, you’re standing in your childhood bedroom one last time, and the next, you’re saying goodbye to your family in a dorm room at The College of New Jersey, wondering how you’re supposed to fit your entire life into a room the size of a walk-in closet. Welcome to freshman year!
Moving away from home for the first time is an experience that is equal parts exciting, overwhelming, and occasionally a little chaotic. Between adjusting to college classes, meeting new people, figuring out campus life, and learning how to function without your mom reminding you to bring a jacket, there is a lot to navigate. While everyone talks about how college is supposed to be the best four years of your life, not everyone talks about the adjustment period that comes before the fun really begins.
If you’re a TCNJ freshman still figuring it all out, here’s your reminder that you’re not alone. Let’s talk about what adjusting to college actually looks like.
1. Your Dorm Room Becomes Your New Personality
Before college, your bedroom was your safe space. You knew where everything was, you had your favorite blankets, and you could decorate however you wanted. Now, you’re expected to recreate that same feeling in a shared dorm room with limited storage and approximately three square feet of desk space.
Naturally, the solution is to make it as cute and comfy as possible.
Between the Pinterest-inspired bedding, fairy lights, photo collages, stuffed animals, and carefully coordinated decorations, turning your dorm into a little sanctuary becomes a top priority. Suddenly, you’re an interior designer who specializes in making cinder-block walls feel homey.
But beyond the aesthetic, your dorm room starts to mean something more. It’s where you decompress after a long day of classes, call your family when you miss home, get ready with friends, and have those random late-night conversations that somehow turn into three-hour life updates and lore drops.
It might not be your childhood bedroom, but eventually, it starts to feel like yours.
2. Homesickness Is Real (Even When You’re Having Fun)
One of the biggest surprises about moving away to college is that you can be having the best day ever and still miss home.
You might spend the afternoon laughing with your new friends, exploring campus, or grabbing food at the dining hall, only to get back to your dorm and suddenly miss your family, your pets, your own bed, or even the little routines you never thought twice about.
And honestly? That’s completely normal.
Going from seeing your family every day to seeing them primarily through FaceTime calls is a big adjustment. Even something as simple as wanting your favorite home-cooked meal can make you realize just how much your everyday life has changed.
The important thing to remember is that missing home doesn’t mean you aren’t enjoying college. You can love your new life at TCNJ and still miss your old one. Those feelings can exist at the same time.
Sometimes, a phone call home is exactly what you need. Other times, it’s making plans with a friend, going for a walk around campus, or giving yourself a quiet night to recharge. You don’t have to force yourself to be having the time of your life every second of every day.
3. Making Friends Is Not Like the Movies
College movies would have you believe that you walk into your first class, accidentally drop your notebook, and immediately meet your future best friend or the love of your life. In reality, making friends and forming relationships can feel a little more awkward.
You’re introducing yourself to people on your floor, making small talk in class, wondering whether you should ask someone to get lunch, and trying to figure out if the person you met at orientation is someone you’ll actually stay friends with.
The good news? Most freshmen are in the exact same position.
Everyone is looking for their people, even if they seem completely confident on the outside. Some friendships happen immediately, while others develop slowly through repeated conversations, shared classes, club meetings, or random encounters around campus.
At TCNJ, putting yourself out there can start with something small. Ask someone from class if they want to study together. Invite a girl from your residence hall to grab dinner. Go to a club meeting, even if you don’t know anyone there yet. Say yes to plans when you can, but don’t feel like you need to attend every single event to have a social life.
And remember: you don’t need a massive friend group to have a good college experience. A few people who make you feel comfortable, supported, and understood can make all the difference.
4. The Dining Hall Is a Lifestyle
Let’s be honest: one of the biggest adjustments to college is figuring out what you’re going to eat every single day.
At home, food might have appeared in the kitchen without you having to think too much about it. At college, you’re suddenly responsible for feeding yourself, and the dining hall becomes a regular part of your routine.
Eickhoff Hall, the Stud, and the various campus food options quickly become familiar territory. You learn which meals you like, which spots are convenient between classes, and what you can grab when you’re running late and have approximately four minutes to get across campus.
You also learn that sometimes dinner is a full dining hall meal, and sometimes it’s whatever snack you manage to bring back to your room. Both are part of the college experience.
The biggest lesson is to figure out what works for you. Try different food options, keep some convenient snacks in your dorm, and don’t be afraid to establish your own routine. Feeding yourself is one of those small but important parts of learning to live independently.
5. Being Independent Sounds Cute Until You Have to Do Laundry
There’s something very grown-up about living away from home. You get to make your own schedule, decide how to spend your free time, and build a routine that works for you.
Then you realize that nobody is reminding you to do your laundry, clean your room, buy shampoo, or start that assignment before midnight (thanks, Mom!).
Suddenly, independence feels a little less glamorous.
College teaches you how to manage all the little responsibilities that used to happen in the background. You learn to budget your time, keep track of assignments, remember your key and student ID, and figure out why someone’s laundry is still sitting in the dryer when you need to use it.
It takes time to get into a rhythm, and you probably won’t have everything figured out right away. That’s okay! Start with small habits, like setting reminders, keeping a calendar, and doing laundry before you run out of clean clothes.
You don’t have to become the most organized person on campus overnight. You’re learning, and that’s the whole point.
6. Your First Semester Is a Learning Curve
High school and college are two very different worlds. Even if you were a great student in high school, adjusting to college academics can take some time.
At TCNJ, you’ll have to balance classes, assignments, extracurriculars, social plans, and all the everyday responsibilities that come with living on campus. Some weeks, you’ll feel completely on top of everything. Other weeks, you’ll wonder how you managed to accumulate three assignments, two quizzes, and approximately seventeen unread emails.
The key is learning how to balance your responsibilities without putting too much pressure on yourself.
Use a planner or calendar to keep track of deadlines, take advantage of professors’ office hours, and ask questions when you need help. Your professors and campus resources are there to support you, and you don’t have to figure everything out on your own.
It’s also important to give yourself permission to have a life outside of academics. You can prioritize your education while still making time for friends, hobbies, campus events, and the occasional night in watching your comfort show.
Your first semester is not about proving that you can do everything perfectly. It’s about figuring out what works for you and learning how to adjust when it doesn’t.
7. You Don’t Have to Have Your Entire Life Figured Out
Social media can make it seem like everyone else has college completely figured out. Someone is posting pictures with their new best friends, someone else is already involved in five clubs, and another person seems to have the perfect balance of academics, social life, and personal style.
Meanwhile, you’re using Google Maps to figure out where Bliss Hall or the Education Building is.
It’s easy to compare your college experience to everyone else’s, especially during the first few weeks. But everyone’s transition looks different. Some people find their friend group immediately, while others take a semester or longer. Some students love being away from home from day one, while others need time to adjust.
There is no universal timeline for feeling settled.
You don’t need to have a perfect dorm, a packed social calendar, or a five-year plan by October. You are allowed to change your mind, try new things, spend time alone, and figure out who you are outside of the environment you’ve always known.
College is a chance to grow, and growth rarely happens all at once.
8. One Day, It Starts to Feel Like Home
Perhaps the strangest part of adjusting to college is that you don’t always notice when it happens.
At first, everything feels unfamiliar. You’re checking your phone for directions, double checking your schedule, and counting down the days until your next trip home. Then, little by little, things begin to change.
You start recognizing people around campus. You develop favorite study spots. You know exactly where to go when you’re running late for class. You have friends you can text when you need someone to grab dinner with, and your dorm starts to feel less like a temporary place to sleep and more like your own space.
Eventually, TCNJ becomes more than the college you moved into at the end of summer. It becomes the place where you’re making memories, learning about yourself, and building a life that feels increasingly like your own.
You might still miss home, and you might still have days when everything feels overwhelming. But you’ll also have moments when you realize how much you’ve grown since move-in day.
And those moments are worth celebrating!
A Little Reminder for Every TCNJ Freshman
If there’s one thing I hope every freshman remembers, including me, it’s this: you don’t have to have everything figured out to be exactly where you’re meant to be.
College is often described as the beginning of the best years of your life, but maybe it’s more helpful to think of it as the beginning of a new version of you. A version who is learning, growing, making mistakes, finding her people, and discovering what matters most to her.
You will have days when you miss home so much that you wish you could go back to the way things used to be. You’ll have days when you question whether you’re doing enough or wonder if everyone else has figured out something you haven’t.
And you’ll have days when you look around at your friends, your dorm, and the life you’re building and think, I’m really glad I’m here.
Let all of those days be part of your story.
Call your mom when you miss her. Send your dad an infinite amount of Instagram reels. Text your sister every life update, big or small. Make the spontaneous plans. Decorate your dorm until it feels like you. Try the club you’ve been nervous to join. Take the picture with your friends, even when you’re all dressed up for no particular reason. Celebrate the little victories, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when things get hard.
But also, give yourself permission to slow down. You don’t have to make every moment count because the meaning of this chapter won’t come from how busy you are or how many memories you can fit into a semester. It will come from the person you’re becoming along the way.
One day, freshman year will be a collection of memories you look back on with a smile. You’ll think about the people you met, the things you learned, and the moments that changed you in ways you couldn’t have anticipated. You’ll probably laugh at the things that once felt so overwhelming, and you might even find yourself wishing you could go back and experience some of it all over again.
But you don’t have to rush toward that day.
Right now, you’re in the middle of it. You’re in the uncertain, exciting, sometimes-messy beginning of a chapter that you haven’t finished writing yet.
So, let yourself be new at this. Let yourself grow. Let yourself miss the life you’ve known while falling in love with the life you’re creating.
Because growing up isn’t about suddenly feeling ready for everything. Sometimes, it’s about taking a deep breath, stepping into the unknown, and trusting that you’ll find your way.
And eventually, you will. Whether you believe it or not.
Not because every day will be easy, or because you’ll never feel homesick again, but because you’ll learn that you are capable of building something beautiful, even when you’re starting from scratch.
Welcome to college. You’re right where your next chapter begins.