I’m not a freshman anymore. How did this happen? How did time go by so fast? How come I can still remember every fleeting thought I had going into college yet I’m here now, reeling from freshman year’s aftermath? I can remember my nerves driving down to Ewing on move-in day. I can even remember meeting my future friends during Welcome Week. I can remember every instance of freshman year vividly, completely, and without misinterpretation. I suppose this is all because freshman year of college was hands-down the best year of my life.
But alas, here I stand, or rather sit, now a sophomore. However, I’m not a sophomore just yet. I’m in limbo. Entering summer after freshman year is yet another adjustment period.
As I try to figure out what to do with my days for the next almost four months, I am faced with a series of feelings. These feelings are ones I left behind, with my town, when I left for freshman year back in August. How can I go back to life at home when I was able to escape for eight months- where I was finally able to be me? I love life at TCNJ, it’s where I feel the most comfortable. Between my great friendships, executive board positions in various clubs, the opportunities, successes and overall sense of belonging, it was great year. When I’m home, I feel a little bit lost. What is life supposed to be like here? I don’t even remember anymore. I’m no longer the same person that I was on graduation day back in June. I knew my “place” in my town back then, but now, I’m not so sure.
Sure, we were all home for winter break, but being home for that month was different than this. We were going back. I knew I was going back to Travers 6 and was going to see the same people. I didn’t feel this sense of abnormality while being back home for that month. Maybe this was because I went to London for a week and had mononucleosis so I was stuck in the confines of my household, but maybe not. Maybe this is all just a feeling of detachment from my beloved freshman year.
Summer vacation is entirely different than the scattered breaks in between because it is about the same amount of time that second semester lasted. Almost four months is a long time to be at home. A lot happens in four months time. How are we supposed to adjust to college life, come home, readjust to life at home, and then be swept off to school once again? It’s a cycle that I can honestly say I don’t know if I like.
Aside from confusion as a result of being home, another issue arises amongst my fellow rising sophomores in terms of summer jobs. I was fortunate that in the past 24 hours, I was offered three jobs. I accepted two jobs, working in retail and continuing my journalism endeavors by writing for my local branch of patch.com, an internet news source.
Needless to say, I still cannot believe I am home, left with memories and hope for an even better future with my college friends. Thinking about it now, I cannot believe some of the events that occurred this year, including friendships, relationships, self-discovery, and all-around everything. I’m not just talking about myself in particular when it comes to self-discovery. The primary detail I learned about myself is that I have too many academic dislikes than I do likes. This may be good in the long run as I continue weeding out options for potential minors. Nevertheless, aside from myself, I know that a lot of people have learned a lot about themselves. After being away from the comfort zone of high school, my friends learned about their positive attributes, faults, and overall individuality. At 19 years-old, we are all still works-in-progress. College is just another time to learn about ourselves, to learn about life on our own.
College is ultimately a halfway house to real life. Like this aforementioned halfway house, the transition from parental dependency to independence is rocky. Freshman year was just the first leg on our journey to real life.
Though I know the summer will not be the best time of my life, I’m ready to take the next few months in stride. I had such a great year that I don’t feel the need to yearn for an outrageous summer. It’s time to relax and enjoy the ride.
It’s only natural to feel a bit off after freshman year. I’m sure I am not the only rising sophomore who feels this way. Eventually, we will put these feelings of confusion at bay and let the tide come in and take us on another adventure that is summer vacation 2011.
Here’s to the summer, everybody!