“You drive me crazy. I just can’t sleep.”
While it’s not quite what Britney Spears meant in her song “Crazy,” these lyrics could double as a description of what it’s like to live with a ridiculous roommate.
Even if you and your roomie are friends, this doesn’t mean things will always be peachy keen, or t
hat your room will remain sparkling clean. Sharing a room inevitably causes annoyance.
Many of us have seen Leighton Meester lose her sanity in previews for The Roommate, but this terrible tale doesn’t have to become your reality.
Here are hypothetical horrors you may encounter, and suggestions to resolve them—all while using your favorite pop princess’s lyrics for advice:
Dilemma: Your roommate has a proclivity for promiscuity.
(Situational soundtrack: “Boys” and “My Prerogative”)
College is a time for freedom, so if your roommate wants to spend time “getting to know” the school’s entire male population, more power to her. As Brit would say, it’s her prerogative. Still, she probably doesn’t want a reputation as the “floor whore” and you can’t deal with being sexiled on a weekly basis.
How to deal: When her wild weekends begin to affect your sleep schedule or happen too frequently, it’s time to sit her down and have a chat. Suggest she goes back to the boys’ rooms occasionally, instead of always winding up in the one you share. Also, it may be worthwhile to remind her that there are better ways to attain self-esteem than through guys’ attention and affection.
Alternative: Your roommate is in a relationship. If the two of you don’t get along, this has its advantages because she’s always out and about with her beau. But because they’re inseparable, this means everytime she isn’t with him, the pair is cooing in baby voices on the phone.
Seems unbearable, but it doesn’t have to be. Why not take this opportunity to make friends you actually enjoy being around? In the process, you may find your own significant other. After all, you’re not going to meet anyone while sulking miserably in your room.
***
Dilemma: Your roommate never leaves the room.
(Situational soundtrack: “Toxic” and “Do Somethin”)
Social networking addictions can be, well, toxic. Perhaps your roommate is a Farmville fanatic, or loves to Skype with friends from home. With an entire world existing inside her computer, why would she ever leave her room?
… Maybe because college is the perfect time to meet new people, beyond cyberspace!
How to deal: Try encouraging her to get some fresh air, or boast about how delicious the bagels in library café are that day. Even if she is a hermit, that doesn’t mean you don’t crave your own share of solitude. Just channel your inner Britney, and ask: “Why don’t ya do somethin’?”
Alternative: Your roommate is a clinger. During the first few weeks, it’s okay for a roommate to be somewhat attached. Classes haven’t started and she hasn’t truly had a chance to get to know others. Allowing her to tag along for a few meals is fine. However, if it becomes reminiscent of The Roommate, where the life of Leighton’s character revolves around being with—and becoming—her roommate, the girl needs an identity intervention.
The same advice holds true for the cyber chick: encourage your roommate to attend meetings for clubs on campus. Whether the Harry Potter club or intramural pickleball, she can meet people that share her idiosyncratic interests.
***
Dilemma: Your roommate is louder than a garbage truck, and just as messy.
(Situational soundtrack: “Me Against the Music” and “Oops… I did it again”)
Have you ever slept in on a nice summer day, only to be awakened by a monstrous, noisy trash compactor? While unpleasant, imagine being woken up every morning by your roommate blasting her hair dryer or slamming shut drawers. Maybe listening to hip-hop is a part of her morning routine, but it doesn’t mean it has to become yours.
How to deal: There’s only so many times where “oops” can excuse such occurrences. Chances are, the person doesn’t even realize that what they’re doing annoys you. The best resolution is to confront her directly, respectfully and as soon as possible. As Ms. Spears once sang, “Don’t let me be the last to know.” Complaining to your friends about how your roommate is noisy doesn’t do much, besides increase your roomie rage.
Alternative: You’re roommate is the queen of clean. It’s nice to have a spotless room, but when your living partner becomes overly concerned with your side of the room, it’s hard to take her seriously. She’s not your mother, and who has time for daily dustings? Still, you shouldn’t live in a pigsty. Cleaning your room should happen habitually.
***
If your living situation becomes intolerable, contact your CA, who’s trained to deal with these dilemmas.
Sure, television portrays roomies as the best of friends, but the likelihood of this actually occurring is not so common. Nights filled with nonstop hair-braiding, nail polish, and snack foods are not a realistic future.
Your roommate will annoy you, and in return, you won’t always be her favorite person either. Living with someone requires compromise. College life can be chaotic, no need to make it any more of a “circus.”