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10 lessons my mom taught me that everyone needs to hear

#1 Know your worth and never settle for anything less

One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was to stop letting boys and friendships, for that matter, take advantage of the love that was given out to them by me. I expected people to put in the same amount of effort as I would, and when they never did, I would feel so terrible about myself. Until I finally listened to my mom and asked myself why I was giving attention to people who don’t deserve it. I had to top settling for people who had no part in my life in the first place. Remind yourself that you deserve to be completely loved and adored by people who make you feel like the best version of yourself.  

#2 You cannot love another until you indeed are in love with yourself

Ever since I was a little girl, I would imagine that a Prince Charming would enter my life, swooping me off my feet, and magically, all of my problems would disappear. I didn’t understand my mom when she would tell me that a man is not the concept of being happy eternally with yourself because fairytales would teach us that a prince was always there to save the princess. But that is not how love is supposed to be. True happiness comes within you, and without it, how could you go on loving someone else. Now recently, I have taken this advice and soared with it. I told myself that it was time to fall in love with me and me only. I was not too fond of the way I felt about myself. I fall in love with the things that most excite me in life, like reading and writing and my amazing friends. A boy is not the center of your world – you are.

#3 It is all about the confidence behind the outfit you are wearing 

If I am being truthful right now, I must admit that it takes me at least twenty outfit changes to decide what to wear, even if it’s an outfit to show up in class or go out with the girls in. I am defiantly not a good person to get ready with because I throw a tantrum by the tenth outfit change. I look in the mirror and constantly ask myself, “do I look good in this?” or “do these jeans make me look big?”. But then I remember that my mom always taught me that the outfit could look terrible but your attitude walking around in that outfit is key. You must at like you are the most confident person out there. The moment you add confidence to your demeanor is the moment you will feel beautiful. 

#4 Work your ass off for the things you want

You will never get anywhere in life if you just sit around and wait for opportunities to magically fall into your lap because I promise you that will never happen. When I was a little girl, I would dream of so many things I wanted to achieve in my life, and not once did my mom ever discourage my dreams but instead told me that if my mind was put to it and I truly wanted it, then I must work for it. Whether you relate this piece of advice to a championship soccer game match or an extensive interview that could determine your career, the only way you will fulfill those dreams is to strive for the greatest.

#5 Everything happens for a reason

Let’s not sugar coat it – life can really suck sometimes. In the past two years of life, I have personally experienced some of the most challenging times to get through. As I lay in my bed crying my eyes out, I would constantly ask myself when life would get easier, when it would be fun or more uncomplicated. But just as much as life has been challenging, life has been so good. Moments spending time with the people who love me and the people I love have been nothing short of amazing. My mom has always taught me that with the bad times also come the best times. When you feel like you’re in the saddest part of your life, you must constantly remind yourself that it will get better. Life goes on, but it’s what you make of your life is that matters.

#6 The heartbreak you are going through now is just one more heartbreak closer to the love of your life

It is OK to cry and be sad ad wish that you ever get into another terrible relationship like the ones you have before. I can promise you that I have had my fair share of heartbreaks in my 21 years of life so far, and when I would cry, my mom was always there to hug me and wipe away my tears. You will experience so many heartbreaks in your life, but one day someone who deserves your beautiful heart will enter your life and fill your heart with the love you deserve. So, every time you are crying into your pillow and wondering if you will ever fall in love again, remember that you are just another frog away from finding your Prince Charming. 

#7 The mistakes you make in life do not define you 

No one in this world is perfect. We ALL make one hundred plus mistakes in our lives, and that is OK. Those mistakes I made in high school have not defined my future, and the mistakes I make in college will not define my life after college. Stop dwelling on the mistakes you make in life because they will mean nothing in five or ten years. Live your life and be happy because that is all that truly matters. 

#8 Live in the moment. Life goes by way too fast.

Life is way too short to focus on problems that will mean absolutely nothing in the future. As I entered my 20s, if I could take one bit of advice that my mom taught me, life goes by fast, and you don’t want to wake up one day and regret or wish you did something. Stop worrying about what people think of you or what will happen tomorrow and start living each day one at a time and to the fullest you can live it to. 

#9 It’s OK to feel lost or stuck in your life

It is normal not to know what will come next in your life. I have felt stuck in a phase that I didn’t particularly love the past year. I was transferring colleges ad meeting new people, and I didn’t know exactly where I had fit in now. If I am completely honest, I still don’t know where I fit in, but I have learned that that is OK. You will go in and out of a million phases in your life, but if you keep progressing and growing into someone you admire, it is OK to feel stuck sometimes. 

#10 Hold yourself to a high standard

Achieve greatness within yourself. Strive for everything you want in life but never at the expense of your own or someone else’s happiness. If you respect yourselves, then the people around you will respect you. Never let people influence the way you see the world because our opinion and outlooks matter and are so important. 

Emma Pascarella is a junior attending The College of New Jersey. Emma is majoring in Journalism with a minor in Psychology in hopes to be a broadcast journalist when she graduates! Emma is also a member on the women’s soccer team at The College of New Jersey. XOXO
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