The Often Forgotten

October is known for Halloween, Breast cancer awareness, and Pumpkin Patches. However, it is also “Infant Loss Awareness Month” for the women who have lost a child through miscarriage. As women, we play many vital roles in society and have various responsibilities at home and work. When a woman gets pregnant, there can be many feelings such as happiness, worry, or shock, and everyone is there for the soon to be mom. When a woman loses a child, there’s a level of shock, and you feel numb.

When a mother loses their child, slowly everyone starts to know there will always be the one phrase that does not help at all, “maybe it’s a good thing it happened.” People tend to say this and preface it with, “look, I know you probably get this a lot..” but all it does to the already grieving mother is open the wound more.

Miscarriages are more common than anyone thinks, and it can happen to any woman. Physicians can’t pinpoint an exact cause for miscarriages, and I think that’s the scariest thing.

I believe that no matter what your stance is on childbirth, losing something and not having any control over it puts you in a state of shock you wouldn’t imagine.

Sometimes being there and not saying anything to the grieving mom helps a whole lot. When I miscarried, I felt numb and fell into a deep depression because everyone kept saying that “it was probably a good thing that it happened.” I felt like they did not understand, and that frustrated me more.

Next time you think of October, think of the grieving mommas too because women are bosses and fierce; we take on so much that sometimes we need that support system just to listen and be there.