It always starts as a crush. As a senior in college, I have had my ups and downs in dating for sure. My close friends can attest to the rollercoaster love rides I have been on in the past, but here I am sharing the knowledge I wish I knew before dating in college.
What happens after they ask you out for the first time? Well, you say yes or you say no thank you. But here are my do’s and don’ts for dating in college before you agree to anything.
Take yourself out on dates
If you have not experienced what it is like to date yourself, how can you be ready for someone to date you? You are your own best lover because you know exactly what you like and how you like it. When you take yourself out, get dressed up, and turn all your attention to you. Remember what it feels like to spoil yourself. If the person you choose to date is not giving you that same energy you would give yourself, let that be the last date.
Respect your time and energy.
This may seem simple, but it is a serious practice. Respecting your time means that you are autonomous in decision making for how you will spend your day. Disrespecting your time happens when you say “yes” too much and you know in your gut that you want to say no. Disrespecting your energy happens when you give it your all to someone who you know will not give anything back to you. Quick story: I should have known that they were disrespectful from the first impression. They were with a study partner in the cafeteria and they kept staring at me, and this was a distraction for their study partner. Their study partner asked them to please focus multiple times. The study session ended early for them because they were disrespecting their partner’s time and energy. Unfortunately, I ignored this red flag and dated them anyway. Don’t worry, it ended a long time ago.
Ignore first impressions.
If you were anything like me three years ago, you would have allowed unacceptable behavior in first impressions because they were “nervous”. No, quit being too nice and approach first impressions as a casual interview. Don’t forget that taking note of all the good things are just as important as noticing the things you don’t like.
Distract yourself from your obligations.
Another quick story: They kept calling me for some reason while I was studying for an exam. I texted back “I’m busy, talk later”. They continued to call me, so I answered. What they said was not as important as my exam, but I continued the conversation anyway. I feel bad for giving them the attention that should have been focused on studying. People want to feel wanted and they are needy sometimes, but your obligations, like school, are way more important.