Lectures, homework, club, another club, another club… no sleep (if you know this reference, congrats!).
At no other point in life have I been more acutely aware of a decline in my mental stability as I have being a college student. The sheer quantity of work demanded of me should, frankly, be enough to award me both a Bachelor’s Degree and a PhD. Be that as it may, much of the the issues I face, and trust me there are A LOT, lay not in that fact I am constantly bombarded with labor, although that is a considerable issue within of itself, but rather in the notion that I cannot, for the life of me, stop procrastinating!
Before you ask, yes, I have tried that. Everything from setting time limits on assignments to giving myself cheesy motivational talks, I’ve done it all. And been left feeling me utterly helpless. In my defense, I’ve always managed to get the work done to a “T” once the due date appears close enough to trigger my fight or flight response, thank you very much. Yet, being both a procrastinator and an overachiever is frankly exhausting. The coexistence of these 2 traits creates this endless, toxic loop of anxiety fostered on the idea that, despite the stress, proficient grades and other acclimations not only makes it all worth it, but also empowers me to keep the process going. In fact, if I’m managing excelling academically, what’s the danger in doing such? So, there I am the following week, procrastinating once again. And while I’m fully aware that this may be simple luck and soon enough there will come a day when this all backfires on me, you know how it is. Once you start, you just. cannot. stop. That being said, I find myself constantly tired and, most of all, anxious. Losing substantial amounts of sleep every night to wake up to the feeling of under-eye bags, bile in throat, and a fuzzy mind is an all too familiar phenomena that I am utterly over experiencing.
Ultimately, and in all seriousness, I think that acknowledging that there is an issue and finding the courage to want to fix it is a step in the right direction for me. So, while I wish I could end this article with solutions rather than vague commentary, the latter is all I have for you. The best I can tell you all is that these things take time and effort. Years of exhibiting the same habit will not be offset by a few short weeks. Be patient with yourself when you find yourself falling back into the cycle of past mistakes and recognize that everyday you make the effort to try puts you one step ahead of where you were the the day prior. As for me, I will make as many attempts as necessary to catch myself every time the desire to procrastinate creeps up on me, forcing myself into a more productive activity in hopes that if I can manage to get myself out of bed, I’ll find the motivation to accomplish the work. Whether this method works or not, I guess only time will tell.