There’s arguments about whether love is a noun or a verb. To me, it’s both. In my experiences, love has been a choice that you make everyday. While we can’t always control who we fall in love with, actively loving someone takes up effort and thoughtfulness. Whether it’s a romantic or platonic relationship, it takes effort to maintain those connections. As much as hearing an “I love you” can make your day, sometimes we need to be shown proof. That proof can mean different things to everyone.
love languages
If you haven’t heard of this concept, I would definitely recommend doing your own research as well as taking the Love Language quiz to discover what yours are. Here’s a quick breakdown: Words of affirmation – praise, compliments, uplifting messages; Gift giving – buying meaningful items, it’s not always the price tag that matters, it’s the thought that counts; Quality time – spending time with them, giving them your undivided attention; Physical touch – holding hands, rubbing their back, even just sitting close to them; Acts of service – helping them with chores, going out of your way to give them a hand, doing tasks that you know they hate doing.
“We can’t determine our emotions, but we can choose our attitudes and actions.”
Gary Chapman is the author of The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
― Gary Chapman
As much as this is something you can implement in all of your relationships, it’s something to keep in mind for yourself too. If you’ve ever felt frustrated because you weren’t feeling properly loved or cared for in a certain relationship, knowing this information may help you in the long run.
when do we feel the most loved?
In life, we’re bound to face ups and downs. When we’re facing hard tribulations, sometimes it’s hard to explain to loved ones how to cheer us up. Even on good days, there are still ways to make us feel extra loved. To my 1,500 followers, I asked them one simple question: “when do/did you feel the most loved?” and only a few people responded, but here were their answers:
“WHEN I’M CONSISTENTLY AROUND MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, OR IN A RELATIONSHIP.”
“WHEN SOMEONE LISTENS TO ME RAMBLE.”
“WHEN MY MOM BLOWS ME A KISS FROM MY DOOR EVERY NIGHT BEFORE BED!”
“WHEN SOMEONE REMEMBERS SOMETHING SPECIFIC ABOUT ME, LIKE MY FAVORITE BOOK.”
“WHEN I AM AROUND FRIENDS OR LOVED ONES, THEY ALWAYS REMIND ME I’M IMPORTANT.”
“WHEN SOMEONE REACHES OUT TO ME, OR MAKES THE EFFORT TO SHOW ME THEY SPEND TIME WITH ME.”
“LAUGHING AND QUALITY TIME WITH MY LOVED ONE.”
“WHEN SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO DO THINGS FOR ME (SURPRISES ETC.).”
“WHEN SOMEONE THINKS OF ME BY INCLUDING ME OR DOING A FAVOR FOR ME WITHOUT ASKING”.
“WHEN SOMEONE GETS ME A RANDOM GIFT JUST BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT OF ME<3"
“WHENEVER I’M WITH MY SUPPORT SYSTEM (I.E. FRIENDS, FAMILY, LOVED ONES).”
“WHEN I CAN SEE MY WORLD IN HER EYES AND CAN TELL SHE SEES HERS IN MINE.”
“WHEN HE MAKES ME FEEL SAFE, SO IT JUST FEELS HOME BEING WITH HIM.”
“WHEN SOMEONE CHECKS UP ON ME WEEKS/MONTHS AFTER GOING THROUGH A ROUGH PATCH.”
“WHEN SOMEONE PERFORMS AN ACT OF KINDNESS TOWARDS ME THAT I WASN’T EXPECTING.”
So, there’s fifteen answers for you.
If you’re wondering how to show someone some extra love, maybe pick something from this list! However, these answers don’t only serve as ideas, but as reminders that everyone has a different formula; a unique thing that warms their heart. If you’re not feeling loved, make sure to communicate to your friends, partner, etc. what the proper way to love you is, so they can do it properly. Same ways goes for you; make sure that you’re paying attention to the people around you, and maybe you’ll learn something new about them.