People never really talk about the way long-distance friendships impact you. The media will often talk about long-distance romantic relationships, but rarely do you see it represented in two friends. Being separated from loved ones of any type is difficult, but being separated from your best friend is another form of torture. You go from seeing someone every day to only being able to see them through a screen. That person who is there for you in every situation is now forced to be there for you from a distance.
When going off to college, everyone prepares you for the idea of homesickness from your family, but no one really talks about being separated from your friends. It is just assumed that you will make new friends and more than likely leave your old ones behind. This concept of distance leading to estrangement seems to be relatively normalized in our society. I think this is a huge disservice to friendships everywhere. The idea that just because you are apart from someone, you are automatically forced to stop being close is, in my opinion, really disappointing.
In this day and age, technology has made it so that staying in touch with people from far away is more accessible than ever. You would think that with this simplicity of contact, the idea of staying connected would be easy to comprehend, but it seems like the media and society in general have a more prevalent belief that keeping connections isn’t worth the effort anymore. The amount of media I have seen of people complaining about relationships and simply giving up when things get hard is ridiculous. It seems like people are more inclined to stop trying when it comes to friendships and relationships than ever before.Â
Don’t get me wrong, it is hard. It takes effort and care, but if you really want to stay in touch, you can. When college first started, my best friend and I knew we were going to go to different schools and wouldn’t see each other nearly as often. At first, it was really difficult. It was hard to comprehend that I wouldn’t see her every day, that I could only talk to her on the phone. Not to mention the complications of matching up both of our busy schedules. It was hard when I heard her struggle and couldn’t be there for her in person. It was hard when I was struggling, and I couldn’t lean on her in person.Â
After a while, though, it got easier. It was still difficult, but we knew each other and what worked. We would text each other when we needed to, call when it was important, and even when it wasn’t. We would both find ways to show up for each other, even if we couldn’t be in the same space. What I’ve learned from being away from my best friend is that it takes consistency and care to keep a friendship strong. If both you and your friend truly care about each other, staying in touch isn’t all that difficult. You want to call. You want to text. It isn’t a burden to make time for them; it is a privilege. You don’t need to be in close proximity to someone to be friends with them.Â
I would even argue that having to be away from my friends has made our friendships even stronger. You have to put in more effort and dedication to be friends with someone from a distance compared to if they were simply just around you all the time. I think a lot of the time, we are only friends with people because of our proximity to them. Being separated from my friends has shown me how strong our friendship is and what it takes to maintain strong relationships.