As a little girl, I proudly considered myself a tomboy. I refused to wear pink, I chose sports over dolls, and most of my friends were males. I didn’t know why at the time, but associating myself with stereotypical girl qualities made me feel, simply put, less.
When middle school came -and high school followed- my tomboy identity began to lose its prominence in my life. My peers saw me as a girl who didn’t put much thought into how she looked, a girl who preferred to avoid drama, and, most importantly, a girl that wasn’t that girly.
My female identity never really mattered to me when I was younger. I took being female with a grain of salt and distanced myself from the ideas of being a feminist. But, when I graduated high school and started college, it became clear to me that feminism wasn’t a topic I should avoid.
I was a freshman in college when I first experienced a man acting inappropriately toward me. I’ll spare the details, but essentially, I was just waiting for the bus with another girl when I noticed the stranger across the street.
Not long after, I had another scary situation happen to me. A car with a male driver followed me around the block as I walked my dog. Intentional or not, the whole experience made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe in my own neighborhood.
These two incidents had one thing in common. Each time, I made a police report. And, each time, I was told something along the lines of “it happens” and “some men are creeps.” Despite the gender of the person who answered my fearful call, an excuse was made for the actions of the men I reported.
Once I realized the problems with those experiences, I started noticing more and more issues women face. Some men make sexual comments about women’s appearances without warning. Some male teachers speak down to female students. And some male political leaders are trying to take away gender-based healthcare.
Because there are so many negative matters rooted in sexism that women put up with every day, I consider myself a feminist.
Feminism does not equate with having a hatred for all men; feminism means fighting for the equality of sexes. Feminism means supporting other women, especially those in the minority. Feminism means disputing unfair laws that are associated with women’s healthcare.
Feminism means embracing being a female and rejecting the all-too-common excuses made by and for men.
Now, just because I consider myself a feminist doesn’t mean I have to comply with the stereotypical norms associated with women. Feminism does not have to be all things pink, communal characteristics, and being a stay-at-home mom. To be a feminist, you simply must recognize the inequality between sexes and question it.
Plus, feminists don’t have to be just women. Those who identify as non-binary, transgender, genderqueer, men, and everything in between can be feminists. The more, the merrier.
Now, back to little tomgirl me. Why did I feel less for acting “girly?” I look back at those feelings now. And I understand that I unintentionally realized that girls were treated differently to boys. Boys were commended for their toughness and leadership, while girls were encouraged to shy away from those agentic qualities.
Even at a young age, I wanted to be a tough leader, not a caring nurturer. I saw how girls were treated differently and decided that I didn’t want to succumb to the female norms and feel less. But that’s the problem. The reality is that society shouldn’t have made me feel like I couldn’t be independent and successful just because I liked the color pink… just because I’m a girl.
So, what exactly does feminism mean today? For me, it means acknowledging my identity as a woman and standing up for women’s rights. It means being a leader, even if stereotypes say I shouldn’t.