Over the past couple of weeks, I have been dreading my 20th birthday, which may sound crazy, but who doesn’t want to be young and a teenager forever? Turning 20 makes life seem more serious. I can’t use the excuse that I am a teenager and I am just having fun when people ask me about my aspirations. The next birthday I’ll have with 0 will be 30. Like there is no way. While it is exciting thinking about how much closer to 21 I am, there isn’t enough excitement to cover the fear of what comes next. Pretty soon, I will be a graduate and out on my own, officially. Being in school isn’t the same as being a working professional. I am so excited for what is to come, but dreading the uncomfortable change that comes with it.
I can now say that I have officially lived for 2 decades. It isn’t the same as the wisdom of a grandma or mother, but I do think I have learned quite a lot. I have learned that it is okay to put your own happiness and mental health first. It is okay to be alone, it is better to be alone than surrounded by people who don’t care about you or your wellbeing. It is okay if everyone doesn’t like you and a lot of people won’t, let the haters hate and move on. Most importantly, ignoring someone and not giving fake people the time of day takes all the power. I love to not respond to people who don’t deserve my time. Don’t care about the feelings of people who don’t care about your feelings.
That may sound cynical or cliche, but it is so true. Acting like this has gotten me a couple of frenemies so be warned. I don’t mean to be rude or dismissive of your friends, but make sure that you have boundaries that you stick to. I wasn’t strict with my boundaries and made excuses for some people before realizing that I was pretending they weren’t as bad as the rest of them. Don’t tolerate people who make your life worse, the relationships you have should make you happier.
As the next decade of my life starts, I am excited to see the change that I undergo. Looking back, I have been changing and evolving so much since coming to college, and don’t expect it to stop. Life lessons are hard to learn but have made me a better person. Change is scary but exciting. I hope I get to keep changing for the better in the next 10 years.