All of us have experienced the feeling that we aren’t good enough. It’s in human nature to strive for this ideal of perfection. We want to be the best people we can be, and there is nothing wrong with that.
I’ve always struggled with what the concept of perfect was. Is it having amazing grades yet being closed off to people? Or is it being kind? That’s where the problem came in for me. I have no idea what perfect actually is. Recently I’ve realized I’m a mess. My plans have been thrown out the window at this point, and life has thrown me so many curveballs in the past couple of months that I can’t even begin to describe how messy my life is. I am not perfect. I have accepted that, and here’s what I’ve lost from realizing I will never be perfect.
1. The overwhelming fear that I will never be good enough
I’ve always struggled with the idea that I might not be good enough in general. The idea that I was not good enough for a relationship, to be successful in life, or for my family has always been in the back of my mind. I’ve realized I am good enough. I’m not perfect, but I am good enough for everything because I’m trying.
2. The anxiety I felt when I thought about my future and realized I don’t have a plan yet
I have no idea what my plan is at this point. Sure, I had an ideal plan when I showed up on campus my freshman year. I thought I was so smart knowing what I wanted to do. Joke’s on me, I have no idea what I want in my life other than to be happy. I’m working to figure it out, but my future will be okay.
3. The constant stress of trying to be someone I’m not
I am not perfect. I am a mess. Sometimes I just want to curl up in my bed and ignore everyone, and other times I’m the life of the party. I am constantly changing, and that’s amazing. I’m not trying to be the same person I was yesterday because I’m constantly working on growing.
4. The stress of appearing like I have it all together
We all try to put on our best foot forward to the world. Social media has fostered this idea that we have to be constantly on around people. I don’t have my life together so why should I pretend like I do? By letting this façade that my life is perfect drop I’ve realized I’m so much happier. I love my life, it’s not perfect and I struggle but I love every minute of my life.
5. The sadness I felt when I thought that I needed to be perfect
That constant need to be perfect honestly made me sad. It was constantly surrounding me and dragging me down. I am so much happier now that I’ve admitted to myself and the world that I am imperfect.
I am a flawed human being. I have scars from hard battles fought, and bruises from falling down. I am a vibrant, passionate, smart, energetic, happy, flawed human being. I love my messy, confusing, passionate life. I love every minute of every day, and I never want to be called perfect again. I will scream it from the rooftops that I am flawed, and I love every single one of my imperfections. I hope you do too, and if you don’t yet I hope you get there. You are an imperfect human, and you are so incredible that I can’t even begin to describe it!