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The Stages of Moving In With Someone I Didn’t Know That Well

When it comes to finding your first apartment as a college student, there is one main issue that is going to present itself: who am I going to live with? These phases of getting to know your roommate could be the same for anyone living in a dorm or apartment with their first roommate ever. These phases happen to be distinctly my experience though. Most people don’t transition from not ever speaking to having dance parties at 3 a.m. I moved in with another student that had gone to the same high school as me, but we never spoke to each other. All we had in common were a few mutual friends. These are the phases of our friendship over the last five months:

The “Fingers Crossed” Stage

A quick run-down on the day of move-in: “What if she has a weird fetish? What if she doesn’t clean? Worse: What if she doesn’t even like the same T.V. shows as I do?” 

The “What Do We Talk About?” Phase​It can be super difficult finding something to discuss with someone you aren’t familiar with. The things that you find interesting may not be interesting to someone else. That was the biggest difficulty I had with my roommate. Eventually, we both started talking about how it’d be nice to know a familiar face around campus. We knew we had to stick together. We also talked about food we liked, because why not? Frozen yogurt is basically how our friendship started. 10/10 possibility we’ll be getting some to celebrate our friend-iversary.

The “I’m Going To Tell This Girl My Life and Hope She Doesn’t Judge Me” PhaseI feel as though this phase is self-explanatory. 2 a.m. venting session, anyone? The quickest way to get to know someone is to tell them everything. I’m only joking. Don’t go telling your life story to everyone person you come across, but seriously, that was the easiest way for my rooomate and I to bond. Thankfully, we didn’t scare each other off doing this. That’s a plus, and also, if my rants didn’t scare her off, then nothing can. She’s stuck with me. 

The Study Group Phase

Since we didn’t spend much time discussing anything other than school, we began bonding through the stress of homework, time management, and college struggles. This, I believe, was the turning point. Who doesn’t like bonding over 10-page mid-term papers? Yay. Nothing like being murdered by the hands of your homework alongside a new friend.

The “Let’s Do Something” Phase

Everybody likes discount deals, but nobody likes discount deals like my roommate does. I can’t tell if I really started loving her when she helped me get through long nights of studying or when she told me told me about dozens of student discounts. $4 movie tickets gave us a really good excuse to get out of our aparment. I’m not complaining.

The Dance Party PhaseSooner or later, you’re going to both get really tired after studying all night until dawn. At this point, any timid part of you disappears, and the dance moves will bust out full-force. Your sanity is gone. Her sanity is gone. Embrace the weird. It’s quite possibly the greatest bonding experience you’ll ever have.

Congratulations on your new best friend.

Enough said. I wouldn’t want to struggle through learning to “adult” without her. I mean, she taught me how to make spaghetti. That’s love.

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." – Ernest Hemingway Carina received her B.A. in English from Texas A&M University in May 2019. She was employed on campus at the University Writing Center as a Writing Consultant and in the Department of English as a Digital Media Assistant. She was the Editor-in-Chief for the Her Campus at TAMU chapter and was also the President of TAMU’s chapter of Sigma Tau Delta, the English Honor Society. She previously interned with the Her Campus National Team as a Chapter Advisor and with KVIA ABC-7 News as a News Correspondent Assistant.
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