Okay. It’s Thanksgiving.
So, what we aren’t going to do here is freak out. Right? What are you doing? No boyfriend yet? What? Your forty-year-old aunt hasn’t even gotten to the good questions yet. Stop hyperventilating.
Let’s face it. You’ve grown tired of eating Ramen. I’ve grown tired of reading all of you complaining about eating Ramen on Twitter. So, now is the time to emerge from this self-destruction. Holidays are great. Holidays are good. There isn’t anything like your mother’s cooking, and nothing can beat out hanging with your hometown friends.
Here’s the problem: Was there a reason you left home in the first place?
I’m here to remind you of your inevitable end come Thursday, November 23rd.
Divorced Parents
Not everyone lives this struggle, but believe me when I say that it is one. It isn’t that I don’t want to spend time with each of them separately. It’s just that a lot of planning goes into deciding who, what, and when for this holiday (and any other holiday).
Small-Talk
“No, I haven’t gotten engaged. No, I haven’t graduated. No, I didn’t get Dean’s List. Wow. I almost hate myself now.”
Superior Cousins
Cousins. Uncles. Aunts. Siblings. Whatever. We know that one guy that flaunts that he’ll be a neurosurgeon by the end of spring. Don’t be that guy. It’s your family, for crying out loud.
Really Weird Significant Others that Nobody Else Wanted There
“Does Sarah, spelled with a “Z,” freak anyone else out? Seriously? Pass the gravy, Zarah.”