Growing up, I never understood why romance seemed to be the center of art, media, and society. In movies or books, it was only a ‘happy ending’ when the main character ends up with her love interest, always with the implication that they’ll be together forever after. Every song was about break ups or falling in love, a significant other or a past love. Even in real life, it seemed inescapable.
Grade school was marked by who had a crush on who, who was seen walking the hallways together, who the new couple was and how soon they’d break up. I never got what was so important about romantic love, or why it was such a big deal, because to me everything I learned personally about love came from my friendships, especially female ones. My friends were the people who brought the most meaning to my life, who made me laugh and knew me best. To me, ‘true love’ was sleepovers spent talking about everything from our deepest fears to our silly dreams until the early morning hours, giggling in class when the teacher wasn’t looking, and dressing up to get dinner together just because. It didn’t matter that some of my best friends were only for certain phases of my life and others ended up sticking around- the memories and lessons learned from each friendship was proof enough of the love that shaped me. Because if it weren’t for every person who was there for me or showed me something about life, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
So, it made me frustrated to see how romantic love was placed above platonic relationships. When you’re in love, you’re something ‘more’, but if you’re friends, then you’re ‘just’ friends. Why do we have to trivialize or disparage friendship in relation to romance? In reality, friendship is truly the most vital and constant form of love. It’s the foundation for any good relationship. That’s why you’ll always hear happy couples saying they married their ‘best friend’. Friendship is the epitome of pure, unconditional love. It’s choosing someone over and over again just because you want them in your life, for no other reason or motive than who they are, and to do life side by side.
The term “platonic” actually comes from the philosopher Plato, who wrote about love that goes beyond physical desire. A platonic bond is one of emotional intimacy, love, trust, and commitment, but without expectation or lust. It’s seeing each other soul-deep and growing together in pure companionship. Whether you’re in a romantic relationship or not, platonic love is something everyone needs. It’s not surprising, but important to note that friendships are proven to play a vital role in maintaining mental health- having a support system to express yourself and be vulnerable with is crucial, especially dealing with stress, anxiety, or any other struggles. Building lifelong connections, shared experiences, and community is vital in so many areas of life, whether that be emotionally, personally, or even professionally.
No one type of love is inherently superior to another, but in a society that tends to glorify romance, it’s important to understand the value of platonic love and take time every now and then to appreciate your friendships. I mean, there’s something about laughing over inside jokes that have long since run their course, braiding each other’s hair when the teacher isn’t looking, and splitting one orange that a man (or significant other) simply can’t match. Friends are the people who are there for your failures and successes, when someone breaks your heart and when you celebrate a milestone. They’re constant, unconditional, and shape who you are. My friends will always be some of the most important people in my life and I would do anything for them to be happy. So please, let us be loud about platonic love. They’re the ones who deserve it more than anyone.