Picture this: I had just moved over 1,000 miles across the country to transfer to what I thought was my dream university, and I spent my first night in my new apartment curled on the floor of my closet, crying on the phone to my friends. That was me about three years ago. I’ve come a long way from the girl who cried on her closet floor, and I’m here to talk about that journey.
The biggest thing I was not prepared for as an out-of-state transfer student was just how hard I was going to be hit with homesickness. Having never been outside of my small town for more than a few weeks before, it was definitely a shock to be so far away from everyone and everything I knew and loved. It forced me to become more independent as well as put more effort into calling my loved ones and making intentional time to keep those hometown friendships thriving.
As if missing home wasn’t hard enough, being a transfer student came with its own set of struggles. There is a weird in-between phase where you are not a newbie freshman, but you also are new to campus and do not have the knowledge of the campus or school traditions that a returning student would. It is hard to find your footing, find friends, and find a place where you feel like you belong. Texas A&M has a long list of traditions, and being thrown into the Aggie world was a culture shock in and of itself.
When it came to making new friends, it took me a while to find the ones that stuck. It is hard to make friends in college, but it seems even harder when you’re a transfer. It feels as though everyone already has their friend groups, and you’re the lone outsider. I put a lot of pressure on myself to put myself out there by joining clubs and involving myself on campus. It took time, but as much as I hated to admit it, putting myself out there actually worked. I say “hated” because it’s hard to do. Working up the courage and being okay with feeling awkward is no easy task.
As an out-of-state transfer student, the pressure to “catch up” can be a lot. From feeling behind in academics to feeling behind on the social scene and traditions, it can lead to a bit of imposter syndrome. It made me question my decision to transfer and wonder if I would ever feel like I belonged or was at home at TAMU. It took meeting new people and experiencing new things to realize that not every college student has the exact same journey. I was not the lone wolf on the outside of the “normal” crowd. Every person has a different journey, and one is not better than another – just different.
Since my lying-on-the-closet-floor-questioning-my-life-choices moment, I have realized that transferring was actually the best decision of my life. It forced me to gain independence and grow into my new and improved self. Even if I felt like I had been thrown into the deep end at first. It gave me a fresh start, a chance to reinvent myself and be the person I had always dreamed of being. It opened up my world to tons of new opportunities and friendships.
In the last three years, I have experienced things I never dreamed that I would, made friends I can’t imagine my life without, and now can’t picture a world where I didn’t transfer to TAMU. My advice to other out-of-state transfer students is to not be so worried all the time. Life has a funny way of working itself out. Just make sure to enjoy the journey as it’s happening – even when it feels terrible. It gets better, and one day you’ll look back and realize this was the right choice all along.