Oh… Onika!
If we dial back the timeline before Miss Minaj turned into Miss Magaj, I remember being a kid in 2010 singing my heart out to all the lyrics of “Moment 4 Life.” I remember paying close attention to the music video of “Your Love,” on my 16×12 BlackBerry Android screen.Â
From elementary to middle school, I remained a casual fan, listening to all of her mainstream hits and keeping up with her latest releases. That was until 2017/2018: the hate train era.
If you’re unfamiliar with Barb history,Â
TLDR: The industry unexpectedly turned on Nicki Minaj:
- Â Radio stations were paid to not play her music
- Atlantic Records attempted to pay 3 different female rappers $250k to write a diss track
- Atlantic Records successfully created a competitive industry plant, Cardi BÂ
- Mainstream media publications and the general public relentlessly scrutinized her
She was micromanaged, ridiculed, and in the face of adversity, abandoned by her peers. Black women, does this sound familiar? As someone who watched it all unfold in real time, I felt such a shock that the woman who helped build the music industry (Thank Nicki Minaj that streams matter) was being blackballed.Â
 How crazy is that?Â
Nevertheless, through it all, Nicki persevered. She released her most lyrically acclaimed album, Queen, and continued to push her pen and creative avenues, releasing Queen Radio on Apple Music. Her resilience spoke to me, and that is the Nicki Minaj that I stanned.Â
To see a Black woman be unapologetically herself, regardless of what negative label the media continuously attached to her, was genuinely transformative for my teenage brain.Â
Most teens go through that awkward phase in our lives where we’re anxious and insecure. I, unfortunately, was not excluded from that narrative. Even though I internally felt sociable and outspoken, I lived in a shell: my outward expression timid in comparison. Â
If there’s one thing Nicki does in her lyrics, it’s remind everyone that she’s the baddest alive and that she never cares what anyone says about her. Her most iconic line is quite literally “You b****** are my sons.” I mean, what other female artist was originally coming out with such outspoken energy in such an unapologetic way?Â
Listening to Nicki Minaj was part of my foundation for a positive self-concept. A study of music and the mind by APA states, “Music defines us. It engages with our prefrontal cortex, an area associated with internal goals, values, and sense of agency.”
I was manifesting before I even knew what that was.
Over time, I felt less anxious about people’s perception of me, I stopped caring about performing and looking a certain way: I got closer to my own authentic self-expression, and I promise you, that is like a drug (metaphorically, of course!)
And honestly? Being a part of the community online was genuinely fun. Despite the fight against trolls and comment section wars, the Barbz and Nicki Minaj are responsible for so many staple memes in pop culture/stan culture. If you remember the 2017 spam page era on Instagram and one of the most notable Barbz, “nateclips,” you know exactly what I’m talking about (and you are probably a diva!)
If we’re talking recently, the trending phrase “Khia Asylum” literally derived from Barbz arguing with the artist Khia and ascribing her as “irrelevant” or a “flop.” Unsurprisingly, it took off and became part of mainstream culture.Â
It’s funny because, just like Nicki Minaj needs more credit, so does her fandom for being trendsetters, #factsnotfeelingsbabe.Â
So, in a moment of war between the media and a legendary artist, I stuck beside the woman who taught me the meaning of being unapologetically yourself. Mind the sound of delusion ringing, but growing up a Nicki Minaj fan is literally part of the reason I am who I am.
I’m confident, I’m self-assured, and I’m a highly-educated ambitious black woman. Okay?!Â
I cannot speak to her most recent decline in artistry, morality, or public perception, but I do remember the simple fact she was a staple of my adolescence.Â
So, in the end, it’s just like: Hey Siri, play “Somebody that I used to know.”