Recently I emailed a creator that has pushed me to live my life more intentionally each day, and I asked her some questions regarding her message. Here, I’d like to share them, because I think her thoughts are more than deserving of being heard in my little corner of life.
Dana Joy Seigelstein is a New Jersey native who studied multimedia journalism at Virginia Tech, and she has a deeply genuine desire to connect with others in life. She believes her purpose is to share joy with others and help those around her while staying true to herself. To me, Dana is what my mom would call “the salt of the earth.” She’s one of those rare people who wish to relieve others of the unnecessary pressure they may place on themselves, simply to make life feel lighter. And she hopes to remind people that you are allowed to be without worrying about how everything appears – and that the simple things in life don’t need to carry so much weight.
I stumbled upon Dana’s videos at a time when I was particularly self-conscious. I was getting up in the morning, stressing about what I was wearing, about my skin, my hair, about how I sat on the bus to campus, how I would walk, how my car brakes would squeak as I pulled into the parking garages. If there was something to be insecure about, I found it. I felt stuck in things I couldn’t control, and I wanted everything to be perfect. I worried more about the small things, and I was missing so much of the beauty in my daily life. I was overlooking the beauty in my relationships, my health, my ability to be studying what I love at a college I’m more than fortunate to step foot in, and most importantly, my taken-for-granted state of being alive. I was getting lost in what doesn’t truly matter to me. Dana’s saying was a quick reminder: it’s not that deep. The things I placed so much pressure on weren’t as important as I made them out to be. It helped me step back and realize that my imperfections don’t define where my true happiness lies.
Dana is the creator of the “Not that deep of the day,” a phrase she came up with early July of 2025 while walking home in the rain after forgetting her umbrella. She says she reminded herself, “It’s not that deep that I forgot an umbrella, I am walking in the rain and that is beautiful – I can go home soon, take a warm shower and it’s just not that deep.” She uses these reminders of small things that are “not that deep,” to reflect on the ‘silly nuances’ of each day encouraging people to not take things so seriously and to focus instead on the good that already exists. Dana says herself that she wishes for “people to understand that life IS deep – and that’s how ‘not that deep’ is possible.”
“I want people to stop worrying about these little things in life that feel like a big deal – they’re not. Your outfit having a stain doesn’t matter – you tripping in front of a crush doesn’t matter – you forgetting to wear your jewelry doesn’t matter – stop putting so much weight into this. To me? My health matters, my family, my friends, my ability to not feel pain in my body, I can eat what I want, I can engage in dialogue. Life is deep – grief cuts deep, loss cuts deep, unfairness in society, the state of this country, the discrimination many face, the lack of resources so many experience—THIS is what is deep to me and where I put my emphasis. The other stuff? It’s just not that deep.”
-Dana Joy
When I asked Dana how her life has changed since adopting this mindset, she explained that it helped her realize how much people are caught up in their own lives—their routines, their pressures, their endless to-do lists. “They’re not worried about you,” she said. “Do YOU. You have one life… use it well – and use it how you want, not how others want you to use it. Listen to your intuition, remind yourself that it’s not that deep.” She states that she pays no more attention to the little things that used to bother her so much. When I asked how she believes others’ lives could improve by adopting this perspective, she emphasized the relief it can bring: “I think we can just honestly breathe a little bit better when you can remove this pressure from these small, fleeting experiences. We should get embarrassed more – it’s humbling. We should put ourselves out there, talk to strangers, and not care so much about what other people think. We as humans are so hard on ourselves- why do we do this?!?! Be nice to yourself! Remind yourself that when you ‘mess up’ or do something ‘weird’ it’s really not that deep.”
Her message is a refreshing reminder that the silly things we’re so worried about in life are often not as serious as we make them. These statements that Dana replied with, proving that the entire power of the message is the reminders, validations, and acknowledgments that we are allowed to live our lives, not putting so much pressure on every little thing. Almost like going into therapy and sifting through all the paths of why you could feel a certain way, all simplified into the short saying of “it’s not that deep.” It’s not that deep that my car brakes squeak, and actually, the fact that I have a car to transport myself is way more important than the idea that I should have perfectly greased brakes.
This simple redirection of thoughts is a method that I wish we all stressed more. A healthy push of exposure therapy, in one simple saying. A saying that allows me to forget about all the stressors I once placed on an action, and truly live. It places me in the present and reminds me that there are things within every choice that I am fortunate enough to make. That walking through the rain doesn’t have to be irritating, but I can step back and appreciate the beauty of being alive. Being able to feel the rain is so much more special than the choice to be irritated.
We each get so lost in how we wish our lives were, in the unrealistic goal of perfection, that we each stress ourselves. This saying is a simple but powerful stance that we are in control of how we feel within what we’re dealt. Where this saying isn’t leading you into numbness, with the intention to no longer feel so seriously about things. But rather, it’s about reflecting when you’re upset, and choosing to focus on what matters in your life. Not to invalidate the lows, but to highlight the highs within each and every day and moment. Because, just as Dana said, there is so much pain in the world. In real experiences that people live in each day, so when we get the chance to live and be ourselves, why worry about small societal constraints we may put on ourselves. There are so many things that are much more important than some of the things we allow to cause ourselves turmoil.
Dana’s saying allowed me to reframe where I am at in life, what I’m doing, and what I am feeling – should have no influence from judgment, or to rethink the weight that I place on certain worries. No one else’s opinion or silly societal expectation shall dictate how I should live my life. I can’t let the fear of judgement keep me from being authentically myself, because there are so many things that are more deep than the potentially hateful opinion of another.
Not That Deep Podcast with Dana Joy Seigelstein
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