I can’t speak universally for all of society and people my age, but I believe Phoebe has a wondrous way with her words. In how she expresses coming of age, memories, moments, relationships, loss, conflict, the complexities of life, and beautifully combines it all within plots through her songs. In such a way that it feels like moments that you have lived before. A sort of deja vu within the songs she gives to us, as if she’s inside my own mind – that she’s almost me. Growing up, finding her in high school and further diving into her music in college gave my chronically nostalgic brain something to connect to in moments when I felt alone and isolated. The intimacy within her lyrics, the honesty, vulnerability, and awareness of herself within her own relationships and her life make the words easy to connect with.
Though I can’t relate to every song, there are the ones that hit home (genuinely). They explain the trajectories of relationships and the struggles two people may face in misunderstanding, while also being so self-absorbed, as she perfectly reflects the thoughts and analysis that one could have about themselves within the conflict. Explaining the narrative of growing up itself, in leaving your hometown, in wanting more, but the pain and guilt of moving forward in physical places and within emotional relationships. The paradox of understanding nuance, and each of these people – but being entirely confused with them and life at the same time. She perfectly explains the experience of girlhood – and life. Waiting room, the first song I ever listened to by her – feels silly to listen to now. But at the time, it achingly felt familiar, like my own wants and yearning placed into a song. The angsty teenage hopeless love song for unrequited love, figuratively expressed much that my “dramatic” sixteen year old self felt magnified in every way imaginable. Listening back to it reminds me of how passionately I lived every moment, or rather how much I felt within the moments. The silly little ideas that if someone who you were infatuated with didn’t like you back, you’d just die. The true pain that a young brain can feel.
I think there’s something beautiful in the extent to which a teenage girl can feel. Women – in general- the extent to which we care, long, and hope for futures, for ourselves and for others around us. The hopeless yet hopeful joy with which life can be led at times, the paradox of it understood in feeling by the thoughts and brain of a teenage girl. There’s a certain intensity with which we come at life in our teenage years, our discovery of who we are and what the world is. Our own plot lines in our life feel movie-like. I’m only twenty-one, but the pieces of my teenage brain that I still have, I almost hope I never lose. Sixteen-year-old me saw life in a deeply vibrant and vivid sense, while also leading with curiosity, exploring the world and things around me with optimism. She created meaning within her struggles, making them no longer struggles but explorations of experience. Not in a toxic positivity way, but in broadening my entire understanding of life. There’s something beautiful in learning about the inevitabilities of life at a time when you feel so deeply. A meant-to-be of self-discovery throughout each of our developments. Something I choose to feel grateful for.
I feel like one of the reasons I feel such a connection to Phoebe is because of the broader connection it translates to. The connection of the language of women, one could say. There’s a certain peaceful feeling of understanding in her words, which are not fully my own unique experiences, but experiences that I am sure other women can relate to as well. I’m not even sure she makes a goal of this while writing her lyrics, as they feel so natural and honest, but when one finds a piece of art which makes them feel understood – there’s power in the unity. Modern artists like Ethel Cain, Billie Eilish, Lorde, Sade, Adrianne Lenker, Olivia Rodrigo, and the classic Stevie Nicks seem to be aligned in the linkage of art to the woman experience – or rather, the experience of life, the trials and joys one may go through.
I think it’s common sense at this point to assume that there are no original thoughts and not many original experiences within media. Today, especially with socials – we tend to be pushed toward aesthetics, thought processes, and agendas from algorithms (whether intentional or not, subconsciously or externally) where we fall down spirals of curated information which sets us into a “vibe.” Broader macro cultural norms seemed to be curated within this as well. Ideas such as this make me wonder: are our actions our universal natural inclinations? Is it just that I’ve found pieces of life which I heavily resonate with? I think no matter the truth of our nature as humans, I am grateful I stumbled upon her music, through my algorithms or just within exploration. I think I am okay with my experiences perhaps being similar to another’s. It’s dishonest and untrue for us to believe that we are so special to be the only ones to experience life in such a way at times. However, I understand and know how isolated teenage me felt within such moments. Where I almost felt singled out by the universe through specific events. But in finding consolation through media, and someone else’s art which I relate so much to – it’s kind of beautiful how connected you can feel to others and the world. Phoebe has a lot of hits for a reason, and I love it.