Living underneath the shadow of an older sibling can be both daunting and rewarding. I have one older brother who is seven years older than me, which is a large gap. By the time I was entering high school as a ninth grader, he was already in his last year of college. By no means is it awful having an older sibling. They teach you something that parents cannot. They show you, by example, how to succeed and how to stand up if you fail. With each lesson, you become your own individual, all the while being helped by the friendship between us. Even with this knowledge, because of the age difference, I began comparing myself to him. When it comes to life experience, he is light years ahead of me. He’s had more time than I have to build himself, but in no way does that make me any less of a person. I’m still growing, and he’s a figure to ask for help rather than to envy. Here are four ways that you can remove yourself from under the shadow of an older sibling:
Do not compare yourself.
Here’s a secret: You will never be the “better” you than who you are. With every experience, you are growing and changing as an individual. You are better than you were two seconds ago. You will always be growing, and so will everyone else. Stick to beating yourself at the game instead of working to “beat” someone else.
Realize that everyone is different.
You will never grow two feet overnight to look like the NBA All-Star you’re jealous of. That just isn’t how it works. Appreciate everyone for who they are. Most importantly, appreciate yourself and your talents and qualities.
Make your own path.You have to make your own decisions. You cannot base your choices off of what others have done in their lives. So your sibling was a spelling bee champ and went to nationals, and you struggle to spell “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” Do not follow the path that has already been blazed. Set your own and succeed.
Believe in yourself.Your siblings and anyone else who you may feel overshadows you are rooting for you. Everyone is. You should be rooting for yourself too. I can guarantee that nobody would want you to work towards achieving being a copy-cat because that would not be who you are. It might take time. It might take a lot of self-understanding. The path might be filled with success or failure, but you have to keep believing in the talents that only you have.