For me, coming home for Thanksgiving break as a college student is the time I step back to see all my high school friends. One minute, I’m surrounded by my own apartment, college friends, and my own day-to-day routine. Now? Now, I’m stepping back to go into my childhood bedroom and going to a Friendsgiving to see people I went to school with for years. People I’ve seen go through their first breakup or heard gossip about in the cafeteria. My high school group chat starts to blow up as soon as I get home, people planning parties, kickbacks, or just driving to the bowling alley.Â
The dilemma I always face is whether or not I want to see all those people, to see all the people I’m really not that close with, in settings where I’m definitely going to fail a hearing test the next day. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it’s awesome to see all of them and to catch up with them, hear about their semester from start to end. However, I know this cycle will repeat when I come home for summer break, neither of us will reach out over the spring semester, and we will stay friends, glorified acquaintances. It’s kind of sad to think about it, and we’ll make all the promises to text and call more, but those promises will fall flat.Â
This past Thanksgiving break, I saw all of five people over the course of the week. My two best friends, two other girls I would consider friends, and my boyfriend. That’s it. I thought about going to the Friendsgiving party that this girl was throwing, but realistically, I’d talk to maybe four people out of the 20 there for more than 10 minutes. So, I sat it out, I didn’t feel like going to something that I’m not going to be genuinely engaged in, and, sorry, it was socially draining.Â
It was hard, as a person who has FOMO, seeing the stories and hearing things from other people about it, but the more I thought about it, the more I’m okay with prioritizing the relationships I care deeply for. Seeing people, I genuinely felt a deeper connection with them.Â
That’s the anti-social side of me. The social side of me came out the weekend after Thanksgiving break, when I went home for a friend’s birthday. We all went to our local bowling alley and bowled for about an hour, played some laser tag, and arcade games. I saw that group of people who I’d hesitate to call friends, but definitely more than an acquaintance. I jumped through the hoops, asking how their semester went, showing different photos that didn’t make the Instagram, and hearing all the drama about our high school. I had fun. The conversations died for an awkward minute or two, and then they’d start back up once someone remembered a funny story. It’s exactly how the cycle goes when I come home, I knock out seeing everyone once for maybe two hours and won’t see them again for another five months.Â
I have a genuinely good time in both scenarios. My overarching point is that coming home used to mean reverting to my high school self, and I started thinking about this recently, maybe coming home isn’t reverting, but reflecting. You feel like you have new preferences, style, friends, etc. It’s one of those things that makes you realize how much you’ve grown as your own person after leaving home. It’s a check-in with your old self, reconnecting with the friends you’ve had since you were 12 or cooking a new recipe you tried in your college apartment. Whether you prefer quiet nights with your closest friends or a big reunion, the important thing is recognizing how each version of home reflects your growth as a person. So, which one do you prefer?