I don’t remember a lot from high school,
But one moment from 9th grade
Lives vividly in my recollection.
———-
I never had much luck with boys,
And I asked a friend how she did it.
How she managed to get every guy that spoke to her
To get a crush on her.
———-
“If I’m being honest,
You just have to play dumb with them.”
And after a good laugh, my response:
“Yeah, I can’t do that.”
———-
She was kick*ss, and still is
But freshly 14, I knew my worth with boys,
And I still know it at 19.
That’s when I knew I wasn’t the problem.
———-
It wasn’t my smarts,
Or that I wasn’t pretty,
Or anything else, other than
The fact that I could assert myself.
———-
I still have problems with that now.
In love or whatever you’d like to call it,
Most boys cower like little puppies
At the fact that I know what I want.
———-
The few who underestimate me try to change my mind,
And my greatest strength wins once again.
Stubbornness is what keeps me focused,
And keeps them from knowing that I am not here to please them.
———-
The ones who say they like women
Who know what they want
Soon turn sour if “what they want”
Is not them.
———-
What I want is not at the discretion of anyone else.
And that is what I believe men fear.
The boys who did not want me
Were afraid that I wouldn’t need them:
And I don’t.
———-
What some men fear is reality:
The discovery that their
“Entitlement” towards women
Is nothing more than a façade.
———-
I don’t burn for you.
I burn for myself.
———-
I’d much rather have it this way,
To walk alone and have myself,
Than to walk alongside someone
And not be myself.
———-
And though loneliness gets hard,
What a beautiful thing it is
To be here and love myself
In the way someone else could.