For Myself, Not The Men Who Try To Fan My Flames

I don’t remember a lot from high school, 

But one moment from 9th grade

Lives vividly in my recollection.

———-

I never had much luck with boys,

And I asked a friend how she did it.

How she managed to get every guy that spoke to her

To get a crush on her.

———-

“If I’m being honest,

You just have to play dumb with them.”

And after a good laugh, my response:

“Yeah, I can’t do that.”

———-

She was kick*ss, and still is

But freshly 14, I knew my worth with boys,

And I still know it at 19.

That’s when I knew I wasn’t the problem.

———-

It wasn’t my smarts,

Or that I wasn’t pretty,

Or anything else, other than

The fact that I could assert myself.

———-

I still have problems with that now.

In love or whatever you’d like to call it,

Most boys cower like little puppies

At the fact that I know what I want.

———-

The few who underestimate me try to change my mind,

And my greatest strength wins once again.

Stubbornness is what keeps me focused,

And keeps them from knowing that I am not here to please them.

———-

The ones who say they like women 

Who know what they want

Soon turn sour if “what they want”

Is not them.

———-

What I want is not at the discretion of anyone else.

And that is what I believe men fear.

The boys who did not want me

Were afraid that I wouldn’t need them: 

And I don’t.

———-

What some men fear is reality:

The discovery that their 

“Entitlement” towards women

Is nothing more than a façade. 

———-

I don’t burn for you.

I burn for myself.

———-

I’d much rather have it this way,

To walk alone and have myself,

Than to walk alongside someone

And not be myself.

———-

And though loneliness gets hard,

What a beautiful thing it is

To be here and love myself

In the way someone else could. 

• dating
• feminism
• love
• self-love
• single