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TAMU | Culture > Entertainment

Coffee and Conflict: How Gilmore Girls Nails Mother-Daughter Relationships

Addison Kamm Student Contributor, Texas A&M University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at TAMU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

What better way to enjoy a crisp 70 degree day than to grab an iced latte, click on Netflix and binge watch the entirety of the over 110 hours of Gilmore Girls. Personally, I would consider myself a Gilmore Girls expert. I am officially on my fifth rewatch of the entire series and I absolutely adore the show. However, I can’t help but note the intense undertones of what seems like a fast talking, family friendly surface level show about mothers, daughters, romance and coffee. Truly, Gilmore Girls encaptures the experience of mother-daughter relationships and the complexities that come with them. In order to truly understand the depth of the classic fall show, I wanted to dive into the mother daughter relationships displayed throughout the show’s 153 episode runtime. 

Firstly, we meet our main characters, Lorelai Gilmore and  Rory Gilmore, in the very first episode of the show. Immediately, we sense the “best-friend” type of relationship that Lorelai and Rory have together. They have quick banter with each other and are able to discuss nearly every topic under the sun. They even seem to have some of the same friends such as: Luke, Patty, Babette and even Lane in some regards. They often come across more as sisters than mother and daughter, this is explicitly stated in the first episode – “Wow. You do not look old enough to have a daughter. No, I mean it. And you [Rory] do not look like a daughter” (“Pilot.” Gilmore Girls, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Season 1, episode 1). This, I feel, sets up the entire tone of what their relationship is throughout the show. Then we meet their direct juxtaposition, Lorelai and Emily Gilmore.

Lorelai and Emily Gilmore are the same mother-daughter duo, however, they are entirely different. Their complicated relationship stems from Lorelai getting pregnant at 16 and refusing to marry her boyfriend at the time Christopher. Lorelai not only refuses to marry but also runs away from the Gilmore home to start her own life with her new baby, Rory. As the show goes on, we see through flashbacks the toll this whole incident took on the family. This leaves an extraneous strain on the relationships between Lorelai and Emily. More often than not, they are found fighting whether it be over the phone, in person or in front of absolutely everyone. Lorelai is a very independent person and this clashes with Emily’s desire to take care of her. 

These two contrasting mother-daughter duos are a big theme throughout the show. While Lorelai and Rory navigate life as partners in crime, Emily and Lorelai operate under a different set of rules. Their interactions are tense, with an underlying tone of high expectations, leaving both women frustrated and misunderstood. This contrast between relationships shows the diversity of mother-daughter relationships and also reflects the broader themes that the show explores, such as love, independence, humor, and of course coffee. 

So, next time you get the feeling that you might smell some snow, putting on Gilmore Girls is a great way to spend your time. With a masterful balance between fun, humor and also conflict, tradition and tension; Gilmore Girls is the ultimate fall show that encapsulates the ups and downs of mother-daughter relationships. We watch through flashbacks how Lorelai and Emliy’s relationship developed into a hierarchy as we also watch how Lorelai builds a relationship with Rory where they are direct equals.  Seeing these contrasts side-by-side is what truly makes this show unique. We develop very close, personal relationships with all the characters and we slowly learn how they are all interconnected, especially the Gilmores. The more I continue to rewatch this show the more I am able to unravel about each character. All in all, Stars Hollow is definitely the town I’d want to be in this fall. 

Addison Kamm is an English major from Austin, Texas, and a member of the Fightin’ Texas Aggie Class of 2029. Addison, preferably goes by Addi, is a new member of the Her Campus Staff at TAMU and is extremely excited to be a member.

She is a graduate from Dripping Springs High School where she served as Photography editor for 2 years. Their book was titled "The Tiger Cry" and, notably, the 78th edition won the NSPA award in 2024 along with being featured in the Jostens Look Book. This book ignited her passion for not only photography but the writing aspects of creation. She engaged in interviews and writing many, MANY, captions for the pages. To further her love for writing, Addison joined and was a member of her school's newspaper "The Paw Press." She competed in UIL Journalism and wrote various published articles for the website.

Beyond all of this, in her free time, Addison enjoys working out and reading fantasy novels. She is an avid Gilmore Girls re-watcher (currently on her seventh total rewatch) and is committed to producing her best work possible for the Her Campus magazine.