It’s 2018, another year of Netflix and Chill, Tinder swiping, and Bumble matches. We are more connected than ever. We can order people like we can order pizza. Swipe, match, message, and we can have a person sitting on our couch in less than 45 minutes. More often than not, this is how we date now. This is how we love now. Maybe late at night, in the blurry haze of our phone screen light as we mindlessly swipe left and right, we crave something deeper than this. But chivalry is dying, and maybe we are killing it one swipe at a time. Here’s how:
No Effort
Here we are, sitting at the library or the bar or a coffee shop with our friends celebrating because some boy ‘liked’ our Instagram picture or sent us a snap or texted us asking about our day. We no longer value effort. We value attention, even if it is cheap and low value. We are effortlessly pleased and easily impressed leaving no need for chivalry.
No Risk
Matching on a dating app with someone then messaging them involves no risk when we have to mutually swipe right in order to match. If given the opportunity, our Tinder matches would not approach us in person. Approaching women is scary. There is a risk of rejection. Why would they approach us when they can just open up an app on their phone and have countless options at their fingertips?
Low Standards
We want to be loved so badly that we accept substandard behavior from boys who don’t respect us. We respond to “you up?” texts at 2 A.M. We settle for Netflix and Chill instead of real dates. We pretend that we are okay with the fact that he “doesn’t want a relationship.” Kind behavior has become so rare that we are impressed when we are treated right. We don’t demand to be treated with respect anymore. We are disrespected and we sleep with them anyway.
Superficial
Our love is that of the superficial variety. We want the kind of love we can Instagram. We want to be shown how much we are loved, so we can show everyone else on social media. The boys using dating apps like us for what we look like, not for who we are. The premise of swiping right or left itself is shallow.
The love we accept is not the love we deserve.
We want to be treated like Thomas Rhett’s wife, yet we entertain f*ckboys. We can’t have both. We choose quantity over quality. We like the chase. We choose people who we have no future with. We hold on to people we should let go of. We waste our time on jerks leaving no room for the right guy to come along and treat us right.