Summer Session has officially begun at Texas A&M. Going into this Summer, I was overly ambitious: I thought I could work and take 13 credit hours over the course of 10 weeks. Six hours the first week, seven hours the next. It seemed possible when it was just displayed on a screen. But in practice? That was another story.
The 20 hour work week I was supposed to be doing grew to a constant 40 with no indication that it would decrease. And, to top it off, the time I needed to attend a class directly conflicted with my work schedule. Being in two places at once is not a feasible course of action. So I did skip class and I would have to continue skipping class in the future. That’s not to mention the workload that the class demanded. To say I was stressed was an understatement.
By day two, I knew I needed to drop something: either work or one of my classes. So I bit the bullet and dropped statistics. I felt immediate relief the second that class disappeared from my schedule.
Now I just have to juggle one class and work. And while I do not regret my decision – I know it’s for the best – the thought that I’m not doing enough pops up. I fear that if I have even a bit of free time, I am wasting that time. I should constantly be productive. Whether that presents itself as school, clubs, or work, I need to have something to do and stress over or I am behind. I need to sign up for the maximum amount of hours I can take, or as close to that. If I don’t? I’m not trying hard enough. Even though taking too many hours leaves me constantly exhausted and anxious.
So while I know dropping that is the right call, I still have to actively work to silence my doubts. And it has taken many semesters to learn to listen to what my body and my mind can handle. So I will leave you with this final message (one that I will also be repeating to myself): It is okay to drop a class. Your mental health is more important. Dropping a class does not devalue you. You are more important.