I grew up in a small New England farm town, that had more in common with a village than an actual town. I graduated in a class of 78, and a CVS opening up was the single most exciting thing to happen to us, only after the one traffic light to grace our small village was installed (in the ’70s). We may not have had everything, but our idea of a fun or spontaneous night was pooling our friends into one car and going for a drive. We had bonfires, snuck out of our houses (sorry mom), went to the same five restaurants within a 20-minute drive, and it was actually fun at the time because that was all we knew. And none of which is a bad thing, but at some point, I began to itch for more.
When you grow up in a small town, you find joy in doing really small things. You appreciate being no more than a 5-minute drive from your best friends, and just running errands together because that’s just what you do. Waking up at 6 a.m. so you can drive 2 hours to Rhode Island to go to the beach in the summer is fun. It’s part of living in a small town. You’re further away from the big things, but that just makes it more exciting when you actually get to go be a part of them. With that being said, it’s sheltered. That town will always hold a very special place in my heart, but that town was not going to define me, nor was it going to be where I settled down. I always knew that. When I was applying to colleges my senior year, my school counselors actually had to pull me into their office and told me I HAD to apply to at least three schools in the state of Massachusetts, because I had yet to apply to a single school within New England alone (I compromised and applied to one).
No matter how far you go, whether it’s one town over, across the state, or across the country. Leave. It doesn’t have to be forever, and you can always go back. But I believe that everyone needs to experience something outside of what they know, outside of their comfort zone, at least once. When you grow up in a small town, it’s really easy to forget that the world is so much bigger outside of you. It’s easy to be comfortable. I mean, who wouldn’t love to stay close to their friends, family, and everything they’ve ever known?
I challenge that idea, and I challenge you to create your own home, one that was made on your terms, where you want.
Leaving your hometown allows you to meet so many new people. It’s so refreshing to see new faces every time you walk out of your door, every walk to class, every time you go to grab a coffee. You will also find so many new places where you can just do stuff. Literally, there’s so much stuff to do. Different gyms, restaurants, bars, outdoor events, beaches, malls. Your new normal begins to expand. As small as these things sound, for someone coming from the smallest of small towns, it was a game-changer, and I didn’t even realize it until I went home.
I remember the first time I went home during my freshman year, and my friends and I were deciding where to eat for dinner. We literally got in an argument because no one wanted to go to any of those 5 restaurants within a 20-minute drive. I just remember sitting back and realizing how much things had changed, with something as insignificant as choosing a place to eat dinner. Since moving to Tampa, I had not once, ever, had a problem choosing where I wanted to eat. It might sound silly, but that was a moment where I was able to realize how thankful I am for leaving.
Leaving allows you to shed your old skin. Leaving will open up a whole new world to you, as well as create a new you. You will become fiercely independent, have a new and fresh start, gain new insights, discover new interests …the list goes on. You will make new friends, friends completely different from the ones back home. The friends I’ve made since moving have taught me so much, and I will be forever thankful they came into my life, no matter how long I’m here for. It also made me appreciate the very few friends from back home who kept in touch, rooted for me, and were just as excited for me to come back as they were for me to leave. And in all of this, you will grow to appreciate your hometown. But you will also grow to appreciate the life you have made for yourself. More than anything though, you will feel accomplished in knowing you made a risk, knowing that it very well might not work out. But you have to ask yourself if the risk is scarier than the unknown (hint: it’s worth it).
Leaving can be scary, but it is well worth it. It is necessary for your human evolvement that you experience things outside of your comfort zone. You will never grow if you are comfortable. Though there are plenty of other opportunities, experiences, and moments that will also do this, there is nothing quite like packing up all of your stuff and going somewhere you don’t know anyone. I promise.